Why can't I? {wlw}

Chapter 1

Taylor's POV

3 years ago

I sit in my room, not bothering to even leave to face my family or friends.

I had trusted someone I shouldn't have. I trusted the gossip queen of Chapel Hill Junior Hill, Sarah Millers. We had been best friends since the start of third grade all the way up to now in eighth grade. I had feelings for her, she knew I had a crush and somehow she convinced me to tell her who it was. When I told her who it was, she got angry and left my room and house. The next day at school, everyone knew that I was a homosexual, a faggot.

At lunch I was sitting alone at a table in the back of the cafeteria because no one wants to be near fag, Sarah and my other so called friends came over to me. I thought Sarah was gonna apologize but I was so wrong.

She approached my table and made eye contact with me and had a smirk on her face. She broke eye contact and turned around to face the rest of the room, filled with kids and young teens. She loudly announced that there was a lesbian faggot in the room and every one turned to face me, all of them whispering about me.

The rest of that year I was bullied horrendously and relentlessly everywhere I went. The news got back to my parents, my mother was furious, yelling at me and trying to kick me out of the house. My father didn't care that I was a lesbian, he told my mom to leave, calm down and if she didn't, they would get divorced within a matter of weeks.

I became addicted to lots of drugs, I lost all motivation in school and hobbies, I became a burn out kid.

Once I went to highschool, the bullying stopped and I became an outcast, but I was ok with that. I was known as the dirtbag homo.

Fast forward to present day

I spend most of my time ditching school to be outdoors, smoking, and just being away from people.

Some people tried to be my friends but I just pushed them away, afraid of what they might to do me and what I might do to them.

I roam the woods like I usually do, school doesn't matter. I look at my watch and realize that school just got released and that some kids walk through the woods to get home faster.

I move further in to the woods, hoping to avoid any confrontation with kids from my school. I reach a spot where hardly anybody goes and I just sit there. As I do, I allow myself to become swarmed by my thoughts. I just want to be a normal kid that's loved by both parents, cared about school and my reputation, that I was straight.

Once I'm sure that any kids that passed through the woods are gone, I let myself cry for the first time in a long time. I cry as my thoughts consume me.

'Why can't I just be normal?'

'Why can't I just be normal?'

'Why can't I just be normal?'

'Why can't I just be straight?'

'Why am I gay?!'

"Why can't I just be normal?!" I screamed into the emptiness to the woods, not expecting a response, let alone a reply.

There was silence, as if the whole woods went quiet just to listen to my cry's.

After the silence was going on for too long, I pulled out her box of cigarettes and my zippo lighter. I pulled a cigarette up to my mouth and light it, taking a breath to allow the smoke to fill her lungs as I fidget with the lid of my lighter, opening and closing it to pass the time.

I hear some leaves crunching near by, I quietly wipe my semi dry tears off my face as the steps get closer.

I see someone walk through the woods and into the small clearing I was in. I toss the cigarette butt down on the forest floor near me, it joining the several other ones done there.

I make eye contact with the person, I recognized her from the few times a month I went to school. She was popular, well liked, and had boys all over her.

I break the eye contact and pull out another cigarette and light it, taking a deep breath.

"Fuck off kid." I say, ignoring the girl's presence.

"Hey, I've heard of you. Are you that strange loner girl?" Asked the shorter girl. "I'm Max and you are?"

_____________________________
A/N

Hey everybody, first chapter out, yippee! Hope you guys enjoyed it.