A Destructive Prank (An Oumeno Story)

The Life and Opinions of Kokichi Oma I

Exasperated and - infuriated? disappointed? - befuddled by the fumbling-jaggery of words, the reader must forgive the writer's excitement and narrative inconstancy - how else in telling a tale of such a destructive duo could one, without relishing in equally absurd expenditures of sentences, proceed? - that, for sure, now entertains the zenith of the said reader's patience. Let this then serve as the exordium of the vindication of - sorry! Let this then be the beginning of the justification of my style. Although that by itself, the reader surely sees, assumes two things: one, that one is in need of a justification, and if one is really in need of one, that is in response to, again, two assumptions about the readership: one, that there is indeed an objection, visible or not, conscious or subconscious, among one, two, three, thousand thirty three, or more readers against this style, two... - where am I? - that notwithstanding latent objections, the reader might not wish to be so crudely and dispassionately interrupted by so pompous, bombastic, protoplastic, syllogistic, jurisdictional, or, or - enough - of a justification during his reading time. The second thing, a point that will - no doubt - stink of presumption, self-aggrandisement, or delirium, and it is the contestable point of the presence of a style. Everyone thinks its great to speak one's mind freely and to entertain this liberty within a great circle of diversity of thought - until one truly does so. And this is how I go - how I jumble about on the clacking bouncings of this keyboard - and, I hope, that the reader will appreciate this befuddled, self-aggrandising, destructive honesty. Since I very much lost the thread of purpose of my argument, I'll use the time left to applaud any reader who traversed these medleys so wonderfully established, regardless of the completeness of comprehension, and invite them to something of greater levity. 

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Hope's Peak Academy Archives

Under the authority of *************** 

Granted ***************

Date: **/**/****

The Life and Opinions of 

Kokichi Oma - The Greatest Supreme Leader, etc., etc.

04/05/****: 

Today I chewed gum. It was very good. 

ididntlikethelessonsoisortofleftearlierbutthat*******teacherscreamedatmejustwheniwasabouttoleavesoihadtostay

i wrote a poem 

horse-piss 

nagito stinks

mondo wears a wig 

akane is a pig 

leon is dead 

kaito shits his bed...

Bravo! Bravo! I finished it in under an hour. Impressive. That's what I think, but that's not what the school thinks - and I do care what they think! Trust me! Let me tell you how it all started actually. I have to write in this diary because... not because they told me to start writing one. It was purely out of choice that I started this diary. Everyone has such boring lives - and yet, and yet, they have their boring diaries to put boredom on top of boredom. Why is it that exciting and excellent guys like me don't have diaries? It must be because we just have too much stuff to do to be bothered. We are - I mean I am - too exceptional for stuff like that. I'm just saying facts. I used to be so honest and nice that people used to bully me for it... It really sucks being great, but you can't get anywhere without hardship - am I not right? Before I tell you about these sorry things, I think I need to explain something. This diary, as I said, is not some plain, ordinary diary, so it needs to feel different and I think I got that spot on when I decided to call it The Life and Opinions of Kokichi Oma. I wanted to write something big and important and that can't happen without a good name. I think that we need a short way of saying this. It sounds nice but it is a mouthful, so let's go with LOKO. Just like DICE it has four letters. But this is not what I wanted to talk about. I wanted to talk about my childhood.