The Boy Who Couldn't Save Me

Chapter 11: Little White Lies - Part One

he was sure as hell gonna show up to that trial, but he would quicker slit my throat than let me speak the truth. if i was as big on gambling as he was, i would have never guessed to bet on how much more i would find out about him...
sometimes all it takes is some kinda damage for someone to become a traitor; or sometimes it takes nothing at all...

The bus ride home felt like it was going on for miles when in reality, it was only about a fifteen minute drive.
The sun was beginning to peak over the town as it was still pretty early but I knew there was no way everyone would still be asleep when I got back. I tried not to think much on the bus and just focused on reading street signs and watching the town wake up along with me. I just hope to god I made the right decision.
When I got back to Zack's, Nathan was just walking out the door, wearing his green T-Shirt and shorts with the name of his team on them. He turned to me and I caught him by surprise.
"Oh Jesus," he gasped.
"Sorry," I whispered.
"No, it's fine, you just - I wasn't expecting you, is all," he smiled. "Where were you?"
"Oh, I just couldn't sleep. Thought a walk would've helped but it just woke me up more."
He laughed. "Well, I gotta go and organise the soccer match for later, I'll see you after work."
I nodded my head and waved at him and watched as he shuffled his way to his car. He drove the grey Hyundai that was parked right behind Zack's blue Mustang Ford that he was still letting Frankie borrow. I wondered how long that would last.
I made my way inside and instantly smelled bacon and eggs. This only meant that Dina was definitely awake. I remember when I was pregnant with Jake, almost everything made me sick. Not this time. I found Dina and Frankie in the kitchen and he sat forward when he saw me.
"There you are," he sighed, seeming relieved. "I was trying to call you."
"Where'd you go?" Dina asked me.
"Just out for some air, I couldn't sleep."
"Oh, well, do you want some breakfast?"
"Sure, I'll grab some soon, thanks," I smiled and then she went back to cooking. I looked at Frankie who was eating while watching the tv. He had fried eggs with beans, potato bread, sausages and bacon. I decided now wasn't the best time to talk to him so I went into the living room and picked up Jake. He was wide awake and began kicking his legs when he saw me. I picked him up and kissed him on the cheek as I said hello to him. I carried him back out to the kitchen where I saw Frankie stacking his empty plate one top of another, which I'm assuming was Nathan's. He kissed his fingers and raised them to Dina which made her laugh.
"Did you sleep okay last night?" I asked him.
"Yeah, it was alright. You?"
"Sure," I half lied and he knew.
"But?"
"Let me just feed Jake first and I'll talk to you soon." I told him as I sat down at the table. I knew that was eating him up. He hated when I did this. But, his anxiety was quickly distracted when someone walked through the front door and Dina looked into the hallway.
"Hey, what happened? You okay?"
I looked to see Zack walking into the kitchen with a few bags of his stuff.
"Well, I've decided to come home."
"What about Kenedie?" Frankie asked.
"I ended things with her," he shrugged.
"Is this how you got this?" Dina asked, touching a very red mark on his face which I was just now noticing. Zack winced in pain.
"Huh, yeah, she's got a mean right hook," he laughed. "Anyway, enough about her, I wanna see my son." I passed Jake to Zack and watched as he continuously kissed him and told him how much he missed him. I looked at Frankie who was smiling at Zack.
Frankie then looked at me and I knew all he was thinking about was what I possibly had to talk to him about.
"Okay, come on." He followed me upstairs and into Zack's room where we sat on top of the bed.
"What's up? Is everything okay?"
"Yeah, so listen, my talk last night with Sam had me thinking all night. He was right. I need to do this for all the other victims who are either too scared or are in no position to speak up for themselves. What he said about Jake being proud of me someday got me thinking about this baby and whether or not they would be proud of me or not. Would they be grateful enough to have me as a mom when they finally figure out that their dad is a rapist and also their uncle? So, this morning I finally made a decision."
"About what?"
"I didn't go a walk this morning. I went to an abortion clinic."
I watched the colour drain from his face and he tried so hard to hide that this bothered him.
"You had an abortion?"
"I didn't go through with it," I admitted as I shook my head and he sighed. "I couldn't. I went all the way down there thinking that it was the only way to deal with this. But, I was wrong."
"So, what changed your mind?"
"You did," I answered and he looked up at me. His golden eyes looked tired but focused. "I was looking around at all these pictures and facts about the human body and all I could think about was that this baby is so busy in there, innocently developing all of those things. It's not thinking evil thoughts like Hunter, it's gonna be nothing like Hunter and you finally made me see that. We can give this baby so much love, the love that Hunter never had and it's gonna grow up to be so happy. It can be our baby."
Frankie stayed quiet for a few seconds and I saw how much my decision meant to him.
"Are you sure that you wanna do this?" he asked.
"I'm not gonna lie to you, I'm so terrified," I admitted to him while laughing. "But, every time I've fallen, you've always been right there to help me up again so I know that I can do this. We can do this."
Frankie smiled and put his head against mine.
"I love you so much," he whispered. "We're really gonna do this?"
I nodded my head and laughed. He leaned in and kissed me hard on the lips. My heart was thumping and my insides were shaking. I was really gonna do. I was gonna carry this baby and we were gonna raise it to be ours.
"I think we should get an early ultrasound," Frankie said. "I don't think I can wait another six weeks." I laughed and nodded my head.
"Hopefully we can get on before this trial date," I said and he looked at me.
"Yeah, I hope so."
The trial was in less than two weeks now and I was counting down the days, even though I didn't want to.
"You know we should probably tell my parents," he said as I stood up.
"Your parents?" He nodded. "Yeah, well I suppose we will have to eventually. Do we tell them the truth though? About whose baby this really is."
He thought for a minute.
"I think we should. It will give them more insight as to what's been going on, why I haven't been going home."
"Are you ever gonna go back home?" I asked.
"I don't wanna be away from you," he answered. "I feel like you're gonna disappear every time I'm away from you."
"Yeah, 'cause trouble does have a way of finding me."
"And that trouble has a name," he pointed out with raised eyebrows. A name I wanted to forget for the rest of my life.
"How do you think your parents are gonna take it?"
"I'm not sure," he now stood up and looked at me. "This is probably the last thing they want for me but it's not up to them what I do with my life."
"Are you sure this is what you want?"
"More sure than you think," he said and I smiled.
As Frankie stared at me, I could myself falling even harder for him. And, I was absolutely positive that that wasn't a bad thing.