The Boy Who Couldn't Save Me

Chapter 8: Hatch

i always believed that dreams were just dreams, just thoughts that play over in our minds but that we remained perfectly safe in our slumber. that was until i found myself in a completely different place than where i first went to sleep.
now i believe that anything - and i mean anything was entirely possible whether you accept it or not, you cannot change the present; the longing and everlasting present...

Weeks had passed since Zack and I broke up and the pain was still fresh. We were now in mid August and I still was waking up everyday to a stabbing feeling in my chest and even though I knew the break-up was coming, it still didn't make it easier. Nothing seemed to make sense anymore and I couldn't stop feeling like gravity was pushing me further and further into the ground and excepting me to continue functioning as normal.
It's been exactly three weeks since Frankie and I walked into that bar and found just how far Zack was willing to go to prove just how much we destroyed him. I guess I can't even be mad at him anymore. In a way, I got what I deserved and me trying to explain how was just becoming repetitive.
I sat against the cold wall and tried to calm my thoughts which were all over the place, like they were racing on a track that had no beginning or no end and I was the athlete who got lost and went insane. I told my mom I wanted to move out of Zack's house as soon as we could. He could come home at any time and to be fair, he had all the right to. It was his house after all, not mine. And, I didn't belong here anymore. Dina and Nathan tried to convince me to change my mind but I didn't want to cause any tension between them and their son. They were already grieving for one child and I didn't want to be responsible for a strained relationship with the other.
Zack came by after I broke up with him and spoke to his parent but to his surprise, and mine, they were on my side. He explained that he broke his phone in a rage after 'seeing me and Frankie in his bed' and that that was the reason we couldn't get him on the phone to tell him what happened sooner. But, it wouldn't have made any difference. The damage was already done by that stage.
Even though Frankie understood my reasons for doing it, and he himself was mad at Zack too, he still must have felt like he was stuck in the middle. Zack was his best friend since they were six and I just showed up less than a year ago and changed the meaning of everything they ever knew. I wondered now that I was no longer Zack's girlfriend, if Sam was still willing to help me with the case. Nathan told me he would be but like I said, I didn't wanna cause friction between Zack and any of his family.
Zack still hasn't even tried to come home since he spoke to his parents about what he'd done. I was sort of thankful for this as it gave me space from him and time to think about what we were gonna do.
There was a knock on the door, pulling me away from my thoughts and out of my own mind.
"Bailie, you in here?" Frankie's voice travelled through the crack in the door. He then followed.
I looked at him, probably looking as if I hadn't blinked in hours.
"I just wanted to check on how you were doing," he said as he sat next to me on the bed, leaning back against the wall like me.
"I'm okay, Frankie. Really, I am."
He looked like he tried to hide the smile on his face.
"Are you okay?" I asked him. "I know none of this has been easy for you."
He made a face and began playing with the sleeve of his jacket.
"Well, Zack's recent behaviour isn't exactly making it difficult to stay mad at him."
"I shouldn't have slapped him," I quietly spoke, regretting my actions
"Oh, yes you should have," he laughed. "If you hadn't, I would've. And you did right thing throwing his drink over Kenedie."
"I guess I'm more at her than I am at him, isn't that crazy? In some way, I can understand why Zack did what he did because I know everything he's been dealing with. But, she was just this stranger who heard his stories and she knew exactly what was at stake. She knew about me and Jake and she did it anyway."
"Look, things could have been ten times worse than they were for Zack, it doesn't mean what he did deserves to be justified. He shouldn't have done it."
"Has he ever cheated on anyone before?" I asked, not really wanting to hear the answer.
"His girlfriend before you, Rubie. He kissed her friend while drunk at a party."
That conversation I had with Zack suddenly came back to me.
"That's right, he did tell me that," I nodded my head. "If I had to guess, he was drunk this time too."
"Yeah, it clearly doesn't agree with him," Frankie squinted his eyes.
"Clearly," I agreed.
Frankie then looked back up at me, staring right into my eyes and putting under some sort of spell that made me believe every word he was saying.
"But look, don't worry about him or about Kenedie," he said with a darling smile. "This is our chance to just focus on moving forward."
"Yeah," I quarterly agreed with half a smile on my face. He kept his eyes on me. I put my head back against the wall and closed my eyes. "I can't keep doing this, Frankie."
"Doing what?"
"I can't keep being the centre of everything. It's not fair. It's Sadie's birthday this weekend, we should be celebrating. Instead, she's gone and people are still fussing over me. I fucking hate this."
He stayed quiet for a few seconds but kept his golden, doe eyes on me.
"You need away from here," he told me. "What if we just get outta here for a while?"
"What do you mean?"
"We could go to mine tonight. It means that you can get a change of scenery and some decent sleep without worrying that Zack is gonna show up." He watched me watch him as I wondered what to say. "I promise, I'll sleep on the floor in a sleeping bag, if that makes you feel any better." He laughed and that made me smile.
"I'm sure your parents would love that."
"Bailie, we're not kids anymore," he reminded me. "Besides, it wouldn't be the first time I brought a girl home."
"Not your best friend's ex though," I pointed out and he thought about that, twitching his face as he did.
He didn't say anything else about it and neither did I but being able to get out of this house was an offer I wasn't in a hurry to refuse. It sounded nice and it was definitely something I wanted to do; I could even get my mom to watch Jake for me, at least that way, if he wanted, Zack could come over and visit his son without the smothering tension of me being there.