let it happen

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~ tame impala

'TW: Bullying, Threats.

Lloyd shuffled uncomfortably in his seat, his anxiety getting the better of him

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Lloyd shuffled uncomfortably in his seat, his anxiety getting the better of him. I was in a similar position, I was biting the inside of my cheek and avoiding the gaze of everyone who walked in. Lloyd had swiftly taken the candy off the desk, saving that first which I respected, but then kept his eyes down. I thought about what I was doing for a moment; he was right. Sitting next to him would ruin me completely, people would hate me too, drag me all the way to the bottom just like they did to Kai Smith. Would it be worth it? Should I take the risk? Sure, I could still get up now and make up an excuse that people would probably belive and I'd never speak to any of them again... but I couldn't bring myself too. Sometimes you needed to take a risk, and from where I saw it, this was a risk needed to be taken.

The door opened again and in came Madonna and Amy. Lloyd must have some kind of eye attractor built into him, and I wasn't talking about his good looks. The girls stopped in the doorway and stared at me sat next to him. They were whispering together, not even trying to hide their points. I shuffled uncomfortably. I glanced to Lloyd, wondering how he didn't show any signs of being so uncomfortable that he wanted the world to swallow him up. Maybe he was used to it and learned not to give away anything. I bit my lip, thinking about what he said to me in the store. He said he would get all of the shit for us sitting together. I frowned, sinking further into my chair. I needed to do something to change that. By all means, the last thing I wanted to do was create enemies, but I also didn't want to make another person's life miserable.

The cheerleaders sat down at their desks, but just like everyone else currently sat down, they still glanced to us. I wondered why Jacob wasn't with them. I prayed he wasn't in school but I knew I'd have to face him at some point. I tapped my fingers on the desk, wishing the next person to enter was the teacher. But no. The ever so famous among the ladies, Jacob Harver, came in with another pal by his side. His smile came to an abrupt stop when he saw me next to Lloyd. I didn't have to he a genius to know he next move would send him in our direction. Jacob had a black eye, I assumed it was from Lloyd's defence in the bathrooms, I hoped it was anyway.

"What's going on?" Jacob's question was directed at me.

His eyes were growing colder the longer he stood near us. They flickered to Lloyd who seemed like nothing was happening and there wasn't a massive jerk at his desk.

"I'm sitting here now," I told, keeping my voice steady.

"What?" He scoffed, a frown taking over his features, "Is he forcing you?" And then he snapped his head in Lloyd’s direction, "Was last Wednesday not enough Lloyd?"

I reached out to grab Jacob's arm to get his attention.

"It's not like that," And then I dropped our contact and pulled in a breath, "I just... don't want to be friends with... assholes,"

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