Good Omens| Ineffable Parents

End of the day

A lot of angst in the end

I take my hand back quickly after we leave the scene. Crowley just easily lets go.

"You used to hang with people like that?

"Well, it wasn't by choice."

"Been there."

"She was one of the tolerable ones believe it or not. She used to do anything to be on my good side. It was always for her to gain something. And I was stupid enough to fall for it."

"Or someone should've taught you when not to trust people."

"I was taught to not trust anyone except for one person."

"Yeah, who's that?"

"Well, my mom always said it was God, and my... someone else taught me it was them. Uh, I'm still hungry. Let's get something to eat at one of those street vendors."

He follows along with me, not pushing me to speak more. I looked for a street vendor selling anything that smelled promising.

He let me order and paid for the food. We ate in comfortable silence on one of the park benches.

It was a nice feeling, but it was strange. The only relaxing moments I had before were when I was drugged up and out of it. I used to think that's the only comfort I could have.
Yet the feeling of dread still haunted me.

"Thank you for today. I know you only did this because Mr. Aziraphale asked you to. But I had a good time."

He shrugs, "Well, I'd go as far as to say I too had a surprisingly good time."

I smile as I glance at him, feeling like he's speaking the truth.
Another good feeling.

"Are you ever scared," I look up, watching people pass by some alone, others in pairs, or together in a small group, together as a family...

"of being without him?"

He clears his throat and I'm unsure if he'll answer.

"I am."

"Have you had each other for a long time?" I scoot closer to him.

"You could say that." He nods, trying to hide a smirk.

"How long?"

"Aren't you tired of all these questions?"

"You guys ask me a bunch of questions. It's my turn."

He thinks about it before responding, "Alright, as long as you don't expect me to respond to all of them." He goes back to his leaning posture.

I shake my head, "Good enough. So how long?"

"I think I already said a long time." He tilts his head as he crosses his arms.

I look back to looking at the people in the park, their numbers dwindling as it got darker.

"...Longer than three years?" My heart started to beat heavily.

"Yes. Longer than three years." 

"How'd you do it?" I look at my hands as I scratch my skin.

I can feel his questioning look.

"How did you stay together so long? Did you ever get bored, or angry, or in a fight? You ever get sick of seeing their face, hearing their voice or their presence?" I shake my head feeling my eyes well up.

"No! Why- would-" I look at him and he turns around with a disturbed look.

He takes a breath before turning back around with a calmer face, "I can be mad sometimes or disagree with him, but I could never be sick of him."

I think about how I've offended him. I made him mad.
It was bad that I asked that.

"I just- I don't understand..." I take shaky teary breaths, "How do you get someone to keep you? To always want to keep you?" I can feel myself shaking as tears come out.

I cover my face with my knees, unable to control my crying.

"Come on, let's get home."

"I'm sorry. I- I can't. I can't." I shake my head.

I felt hot as I felt my heart hitting my chest and my body shaking around me. My mouth was dry and all I could hear was the cries that came out. 
I wish I could stop. But I couldn't, I was paralyzed in this state.

Get it together. Fuck! You're embarrassing yourself! Stop! Run! Leave! Hide!

But I don't have to. Crowley picks me up not saying anything as he carries me to the car.
It felt warm and comforting to be held- making me tear up more.

I continue shaking in my tears as I feel my eyes grow heavy and the dark take over me.