MAYBE THIS TIME | JENLISA

13

"You're out late." Zara flicked on the lamp by her bed and propped herself up on her elbow.

Lisa blinked and shielded her eyes from the unexpected interrogation light. "Were you waiting up, Mom?"

"Someone has to." Zara pushed her pillows against the wall and leaned against them as she sat up.

"Oh? And why is that? I'm a grown-up." Lisa kicked off her shoes and sat heavily onto her bed, tired and fatigued from the day, but also feeling very much alive. She had been right about Jennie's proposition being a challenge. It had taken all of her willpower to keep things from getting X-rated, something Jennie did little to avoid with all those sexy sounds and shudders when Lisa touched her skin. But, God, how good it felt to touch her again. It felt like coming home in a way. Lisa was addicted already. And that was bad, very bad.

"That all depends. Did you sleep with her?" Zara gave her a knowing expression and Lisa felt herself blush.

"Who told you?"

Zara crossed her arms over her chest and clucked. "Enrique. He squealed like a little piggy. He said you two nearly had sex right on the dance floor in front of a few dozen people. Subtlety never was your specialty, huh, Lis?"

Lisa dropped her head and sighed. "Fuck."

"You didn't answer that question yet," Zara pointed out. "Did you two...?"

"No," Lisa said. Not yet. But she had every intention to.

Zara nodded and scooted forward, shifting to sit at the edge of her bed with her feet on the floor. "But you want to."

Lisa looked her right in the eye when she replied. "Yes."

Zara got up and stood in the small space between their beds. Lisa looked up at her and noticed the packed boxes that were illuminated by the bedside lamp. She hadn't noticed them in the dark, but they were impossible to miss now.

"You're packing." She had to say it out loud for her heart to accept it. "Because you're leaving me."

Zara sat next to her on her bunk and placed a hand on her leg. "I'm not leaving you, I'm leaving the ship. And my job. For a new adventure."

Zara tapped the compass tattoo on Lisa's arm and smiled. Lisa knew that had always been Zara's favorite—it was gold and seemed to sparkle and glimmer. Lisa had gotten it when they'd met. She told Zara it was meant to glitter like the gold nose ring she had worn in her nose since she'd joined the cruise life. That had been true, but she'd also gotten it because finding Zara felt like finding lost family. Zara had helped Lisa find direction in her life. A life without seeing her every day felt like too much to handle.

"I know," Lisa said as she looked up at her best friend and fought the sadness to accept the inevitable. "I'm being melodramatic."

Zara pulled her into a bear hug and patted the back of her head. "And you're so very good at it."

Lisa let herself be held and savored the moment. "I still have feelings for her."

Zara ran her fingers through Lisa's hair and rocked her a bit. "I know."

Lisa leaned back to ask, "How?"

"How do you still have feelings for her or how do I know?" Zara settled against the wall behind Lisa's bed and brought her knees up to her chin.

Lisa scrambled up next to her and copied her position. "Both." She looked at Zara and sighed. "She apologized to me today. She told me she was trying to limit my pain, and hers, by ending things before she went off to school. She said that she was overwhelmed by her feelings for me and the path she had laid out for her future, and that she fucked up. She said she was imperfect and broke things off with me in a shitty way."