MAYBE THIS TIME | JENLISA

24

Cruise Day Seven: Aruba

Lisa's eyes stung and her ribs hurt from crying. She'd slept collectively two hours last night. She couldn't sleep because every time she closed her eyes, she saw Jennie running from her, crying and not looking her in the face. Jennie had told her she loved her, she still loved her. She'd never stopped loving her. And Lisa hated herself for feeling so weak in that moment that she said nothing. She just let her go.

She sighed as the numbers on the clock inched on. She hated that someone else was going to Jennie's room today to give her the itinerary. She hated that she couldn't just knock on her door and apologize for panicking last night. She hated how a beautiful day ended so horribly.

But she'd panicked. She knew that the only reason she wasn't full-on fired yesterday was because she'd helped Captain Correia from making a bad decision—ironically with her actions toward Jennie—and got her back to her room safely. Sally had confirmed that once they were alone in the room together. Lisa was being cut leniency as a one-time favor. She was grateful, but she knew she was on borrowed time. And she also knew that she'd likely be moved to another ship, but that was a worry for another day. Right now, all she could worry about was talking to Jennie and trying to make things right again.

Zara slipped through their closed door with breakfast in hand. "C'mon. You gotta get up and eat. Your shift starts soon, and I can tell by the sheet marks on your face that you haven't even moved since I left."

Lisa waved her off and closed her eyes. She was exhausted. And sad. She was glad to be pushing papers around down here and not having to be sunny and optimistic topside.

"Lis," Zara said as she combed a piece of her hair off her forehead. "You can't be late. You don't want to give them a reason to second-guess their decision."

She turned to face Zara, annoyed at the pity on her face, but realizing that she should try to show some grace right now, even if she felt none. "I know."

"I brought you some hard-boiled eggs and a muffin. The coffee looked like tar, so I left it behind. Scarf this down quick and shower. I'll swing by your post on my lunch break. Sound good?"

Lisa took the food and nodded. She was grateful Zara was handling her with kid gloves right now. She'd been a damned saint last night. These were her last few nights on the ship, with her friends, and Zara should be out partying, not consoling her heartbroken bestie. Lisa felt guilty about that.

"I'll see you later." Zara kissed her forehead and disappeared into the bustle of the corridor.

The silence of the room felt deafening. Lisa sat up and shook her head. She could do this. She could do her early shift and find a way to get in touch with Jennie that wouldn't result in her getting fired. Maybe she could swing by the casino and see her friend Barb...That might work. There was a chance, anyway.

She stood up, feeling a little better about herself. Eat, shower, go to work. Find Jennie. She could do that—she could do one small thing at a time. She had to.

* * *

The day had been busier than she'd expected. She'd spent the majority of the morning working with the suppliers, doing inventory for the bars, and reviewing some of the less than glamorous parts of her usual job that she used to put off for the last day of the cruise when the bar service was limited.

Zara stopped by during her lunch break to cheer her up and spend some time with her, and that was nice, but not enough of a distraction.

The ship had docked in Aruba and it was mostly empty now. But Lisa wasn't able to leave the ship, even though she had a break midday, as part of her suspension. That felt doubly frustrating since she'd bet Jennie was on the island, enjoying herself. She replayed Jennie's words from last night. She'd told her she'd wait for her, that she'd be there when she was ready. That gave her a little comfort. She wasn't sure she had a plan just yet, but she didn't want Jennie thinking Jennie was more invested in their relationship than she was. That wasn't true. Jennie had taken the words right out of her mouth last night, but she hadn't been able to say that. She hadn't been able to move. There was a lot to unpack about the things she felt about Jennie, but she was willing to put in the time, once she knew Jennie knew her feelings on the matter as well.