MAYBE THIS TIME | JENLISA

27

Jennie looked at her phone and checked her texts again. Nothing. Still nothing.

These past eight months had been a challenge. Not in keeping up the relationship, but in missing the feel of someone next to her. She felt emotionally fulfilled by Lisa, but she missed her physically. That was a testament to the way Lisa made her feel when they were together—she knew that. But it didn't make the distance any easier.

"Paw Paw, three minutes till lunch!" she called out as she stood up and stirred the contents in the pot, not because they needed stirring, she'd just done that two minutes ago, but because she was restless. And it made her feel like she was doing something useful.

She walked to the sink to rinse off a few spoons and then stared out the kitchen window into the midday sky, thinking about how much had changed since the cruise. She'd made some bold steps in her career, quitting her full-time job to pursue commissioned work and establish a business of her own. She was finally using those two years of business school she'd taken before she switched over to design work. It was about damn time she applied some of that knowledge. She'd been inspired by Lisa's encouragement for her to live her life more and to acknowledge the worth of her time as that, her time. And though these days and months had been long in some regards, time was still her most precious commodity. She knew that now more than ever.

She looked around her mother's kitchen and sighed. Her mother's kitchen. Because she'd uprooted her career, she was begrudgingly still living in her mother's guest house. Which meant that, after her initial return home, avoiding Irene was impossible. But after an honest and frank discussion with the minimal amount of rage and anger possible, Irene stopped calling and stopping by uninvited.

The truth was, Jennie didn't feel rage anymore. She felt like that part of her had healed some. She wasn't afraid to be honest with herself or Irene, like she had been before. And though in the past she hadn't wanted to accept the failure of their relationship or how she had become complacent long before she caught Irene in bed with someone else, that time was over. The cruise had been eye-opening for her. She felt like herself for the first time in a long time. She forgave Irene, but she told her she had no interest in seeing her again, even as a friend. And though Irene looked devastated by that last bit, Jennie felt no remorse about speaking her truth.

Her grandfather's good-natured laughter in the next room broke her from her trance. She set the table for two, since her mother was out of town. Her relationship with Mom was about the same. Mom had been less than pleased that she'd sworn off getting back together with Irene, but after a few months, she stopped bringing it up. Once she'd found out Jennie had reconnected with Lisa, that opened up another can of judgment worms, but it was seemingly short-lived. Her mother had met someone new and was around less than usual, which was just fine with Jennie.

She checked her phone again and thought about Lisa. Oh, how she missed her. It had been almost two months since she'd kissed Lisa. Two months since she'd felt Lisa's touch and her tongue. And it had been two long months since she'd come the way she wanted to. And though they talked frequently and had phone sex often, it wasn't the same. She missed her touch and she wanted to see her again. Now.

"She'll call, Nini," Paw Paw said as he wheeled his walker into the kitchen. "Stop staring at the phone."

Jennie put her cell phone down and stood to pull out a chair for him. She helped him lower himself into it and pushed it closer to the table for him to eat.

"Thank you." He lifted his chin while she tucked the linen napkin into his dress shirt. "I don't need the bib, Nini. I know your heart is in the right place, but just because I'm old doesn't mean I can't keep my shirt nice."