Teenage Peso Penguin was educated in the Antarctic by His scientist parents. When his family moves to the suburbs of Illinois, Peso finally gets to experience public school and gets a quick primer on the cruel, tacit laws of popularity that divide h...
She was diligently working out in the gym of Dashi's family mansion. Her father, Mason, checked in on her, fully aware that her friends had given her the cold shoulder. Yet, he took solace in the fact that she still had him.
"Sweety pie," Mason cooed, "I know it stings not to be invited to the party, but there's a silver lining—you've got me and your sister."
"Shut up, Daddy!" Dashi exploded mid-pushup, her voice strained, "I don't want to talk to anyone!"
"Alright... I'll give you space," Mason conceded, turning to leave.
That's when he noticed the Kalteen Bars. Puzzled, he picked them up, "Honey Doo," he inquired gently, "Why are you munching on Kalteen Bars?"
"To slim down!" Dashi retorted sharply, "Now, please, just leave me alone!"
"Dashi," he interjected, a note of concern in his voice, "We bought these Kalteen Bars for your Meemaw to help her put on weight after her surgery."
Dashi ceased her exercise and gazed at her father, perplexed.
"What?" she inquired.
"They cause rapid weight gain, Darling," Mason explained.
Realizing she's been deceived, Dashi rises abruptly, her screams filling the air. Mason exits the room hastily as Dashi, overwhelmed by anger and tears, storms up to her room. Consumed by fury, her face stained with the tracks of her tears, she snatches a photograph of herself and Peso from the bulletin board and tears it in two. Seething, Dashi retrieves the "Burn book," thumbing through its pages until she finds a space. With a pink pen, adorned with a heart, in her paw, she begins to write. "This sad loser is the SHADIEST FREAK I've ever met. DO NOT TRUST THIS PERSON. She is an UGLY PIG!" She dries her tears, takes half the photograph, coats the back with a glue stick, and firmly places it down. It's her own image. Beneath it, she inscribes the name "Dashi Dog."
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...
The following morning, Dashi feigned tears in Principal Inkling's office while he perused the 'Burn Book'. Adorned in a black sweater, blue jeans, and white tennis shoes, with her hair cascading down, Dashi had embraced a darker persona unknown to Inkling, who remained oblivious to her nefarious scheme.
"I discovered it in the girls' locker room," Dashi wept insincerely, "The things it says about me, about all of us."
"My goodness," Inkling exclaimed, scanning the Burn Book, "Can it be true? 'Rachel Hamilton uses her inhaler to consume vodka.' Is such a thing feasible?"
Dashi merely shrugged and pretended to clear her nose as Inkling flipped the page.
"'Ms. Norbury is a sad old Drug Pusher,'" he read aloud, "And what is this? 'Selva speaks to Chrysanthemum in baby talk,' and she is a... what?"
"A Seed Brain," Dashi interjected, completing his thought, her fake sobs intensifying. "I know! Even my closest friends are mentioned. It's so mean..."
As Dashi continued her exaggerated sorrow, Principal Inkling set the book aside, offering her a look of compassion.
"Don't worry, we'll get to the bottom of this," Inkling assured her.
"Only three other students have been spared by that book," Dashi remarked.
"Could you provide their names?" Inkling inquired.
...
Peso, Shellington, and Barnacles were summoned to the Principal's office amidst a brewing crisis that Northshore was oblivious to. As Peso was about to enter, a fleeting exchange of glances with Dashi occurred before she departed, leaving a palpable tension in the air.
Peso asked, "What's going on?" his confusion evident.
The trio seated themselves as Principal Inkling presented The Burn Book. "Peso," he began, directing his attention to the book, "are you familiar with this?"
Initially denying any recognition, Peso corrected himself, "No... I mean, yes, I've seen it, but it isn't mine."
Shellington interjected, "It belongs to Dashi. She's framing us, making it appear as though we're the authors when, in fact, she is."
Inkling, seeking clarity, turned to Shellington, "Why would Dashi pen such a thing about Selva talking to flowers in baby language? They were close friends back in the eighth grade, weren't they?"
"It said that?" Peso inquired, perplexed.
"And why would Dashi call herself..." Inkling trailed off as he flipped through the pages, coming across the words, "An Ugly Pig."
Barnacles couldn't suppress a chuckle, though the other three didn't share his amusement.
"Barnacles," Inkling stated sternly, "This is no laughing matter! I demand to know who is behind this Burn Book."
...
Amid the chaos, Dashi was sneakily plastering photocopies from the notorious Burn Book all over the school corridors. This was merely the second act of her nefarious scheme. As she emptied her paws of the last page, the papers fluttered down, blanketing the hallways, lockers, and floors. The bell tolled, signaling the commencement of phase three.
Gradually, the entire student body encountered the scattered pages. Reactions varied wildly; some students chuckled while others gaped in utter disbelief. A murmur began to swell among the crowd, growing into a collective chant of bewilderment, "Who wrote this? Who wrote this? WHO WROTE THIS?!" The volume escalated with each repetition.
Then, pandemonium ensued. Accusations flew as students pointed fingers, each suspecting the other of authoring the scandalous content. The tension intensified. Amidst the turmoil, Tweak and Kwazii stumbled upon a page bearing their own images.
"'Tweak is a Space Cow,'" Kwazii read from the paper.
"Original," Tweak muttered, rolling her eyes, then noticed another comment, "'Kwazii Cat is too adventurous for his own good.' That's only fine when I say it!"
Tweak was furious, and Kwazii suspected he knew who penned those words.
"Tweak," Kwazii said to his friend, "it must be Peso who wrote this!"
This marked the third stage of Dashi's scheme. She watched chaos unfold like a scene from 'Lord of the Flies,' seemingly eager to watch the world descend into madness. The turmoil intensified, leading to student injuries. Distressed, a teacher burst into Principal Inkling's office.
"Inkling!" the teacher shouted, "The hallways are filled with fights! The students have gone wild!"
Exiting the office, the four men faced complete pandemonium, with students clashing violently. Peso, Shellington, and Barnacles couldn't believe their eyes. Was this the aftermath of the Burn Book? Inkling, wielding a bat for defense, tried to break up a fight, but it was futile. The students ignored all peacemaking efforts.
"I didn't graduate from community college for this!" Inkling bellowed.
He marched to the fire alarm and yanked it down. The sprinklers soaked the brawling students, who were shocked by the water soaking their hair, clothes, and fur.
"ALL JUNIOR STUDENTS TO THE GYMNASIUM, NOW!" Inkling ordered. "I REPEAT! RIGHT NOW!"
