Amelia 16 month old
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Billie Eilish was no stranger to late nights. Her career had been built on sleepless hours spent in studios, on stage, and writing songs. But this night was different. It was well past 2 a.m., and Billie was not up by choice. She was rocking back and forth in the dim light of her bedroom, a crying baby in her arms.
Amelia, her 16-month-old daughter, had been restless for weeks. Teething had been rough on both of them. The four front teeth had come in with minimal fuss, but this new one was proving to be a nightmare. Billie could feel the tiny bump under Amelia's gum, a stubborn little molar that just wouldn't break through.
"Shhh, baby, shhh," Billie whispered, pressing a soft kiss to Amelia's forehead. She was exhausted, her eyes heavy, but the cry of her baby kept her mind wide awake. Amelia's tiny fists clenched tightly around Billie's shirt, her face scrunched in pain
Billie had already tried everything. She had rubbed a numbing cream onto Amelia's gums earlier, but it seemed to provide only a few minutes of relief. She had walked around the room, bouncing Amelia gently, singing softly, but nothing had helped for long. Now, she was sitting in the worn armchair by the window, her body slouched with fatigue, hoping that maybe, just maybe, Amelia would settle.
Amelia squirmed in Billie's arms, her little face turning toward Billie's chest. "Milk, Mama?" she asked, her voice tiny and broken.
"Okay, sweetheart, let's try," Billie replied, hoping that nursing might comfort her. She shifted slightly in the chair, adjusting Amelia's position so she could latch on. For a moment, there was quiet. Amelia latched on and began to nurse, and Billie sighed in relief, her muscles loosening just a bit. The rhythm of breastfeeding was familiar, comforting for both of them.
But the peace was short-lived. After a few suckles, Amelia suddenly pulled back, crying out in frustration. Billie felt a sharp pain as Amelia's teeth grazed her nipple, biting down just enough to hurt. The sudden pain sent a jolt through Billie's body, her breath catching in her throat.
"Ow, ow, Amelia, please," Billie whispered, trying to soothe both her daughter and herself. Amelia's cries grew louder, her little body writhing in Billie's arms.
"Amelia, I know, baby, I know it hurts," Billie whispered, tears pricking her own eyes. She knew how tough this was for Amelia, but she felt so helpless. There was nothing she could do to take the pain away, and that was the hardest part.
Amelia's cries softened into whimpers, but they were no less heartbreaking.
Billie held her close, rubbing small circles on her back, feeling the way Amelia's body quivered with each sob."Do you want your bunny, Amelia? Where's bunny?" Billie asked softly, glancing around the room. Amelia's favorite stuffed animal, a small, worn bunny with floppy ears, was on the bed. Billie carefully shifted Amelia to one arm and reached over to grab it.
"Buh... bunny," Amelia whimpered, her voice small and shaky.
"That's right, bunny," Billie said, handing the toy to her. Amelia clutched it tightly, her little fingers wrapping around the soft fur. The familiar comfort of her bunny seemed to help a bit, her sobs quieting down as she hugged it close.
"Mommy's right here, baby. It's okay," Billie continued, stroking Amelia's head. Her daughter's fine, dark hair was damp with sweat, her face flushed from the crying.
Amelia's cries grew louder, her face contorted in pain as she reached out again, her tiny hands grasping at Billie's shirt. "Hurt, Mama, hurt," she sobbed, her limited vocabulary barely enough to express what she was feeling.
"I know, I know it hurts, my love," Billie murmured, gathering Amelia close again, her voice breaking. She felt a deep ache in her heart, one that mirrored the physical pain in her breast. "I'm so sorry, baby. Mommy's here, okay? Mommy's got you."
She started to rock back and forth, gently bouncing Amelia in her arms. She knew it wasn't enough, but it was all she could do. Billie wished for just a moment that someone else could take over, that she could hand Amelia off to someone and collapse into bed. But that wasn't how it worked. This was her baby, and it was up to her to make it better.Amelia continued to cry, the sound escalating and breaking into breathless sobs that tugged at Billie's soul. She pressed a kiss to the top of Amelia's head, her lips brushing against the soft curls. "Shhh, it's okay, sweetheart," Billie whispered, though she wasn't sure who she was trying to comfort more-Amelia or herself.
Amelia sniffled, her eyes still glistening with tears, but the presence of the bunny seemed to comfort her a little. Billie continued to rock her, humming a soft, slow tune—a melody she often found herself singing to Amelia in moments like this.
The room was quieting now, the only sounds the gentle creak of the rocking chair and Amelia's soft sniffles. Billie's own eyelids grew heavier, the weight of the night pressing down on her. She wished she could just close her eyes for a moment, just for a second, but she knew she couldn't.
"Night...night," Amelia mumbled, her little voice slurring with exhaustion.
"Yes, night-night, sweetheart," Billie whispered back, her heart swelling with love and weariness. "It's time for sleep."
Billie carefully shifted Amelia in her arms, cradling her close as she stood up from the rocking chair. Amelia whimpered, a small sound of protest, but she didn't start crying again. Billie walked slowly across the room, each step careful and deliberate as she approached the crib.
"Shhh, it's okay, baby," Billie whispered as she gently lowered Amelia into the crib. Amelia stirred, her eyes fluttering open briefly before closing again as she clutched her bunny close to her chest.
"Sweet dreams, my little angel," Billie whispered, pulling the blanket up to Amelia's chin and brushing a curl away from her forehead. She stood there for a moment, just watching her daughter sleep, her heart heavy with the lingering worry.
Finally, Billie turned and walked quietly out of the room, leaving the door slightly ajar. The hallway was dark, and the silence felt almost oppressive after the hours of crying and comforting. Billie's body ached with exhaustion as she made her way back to her bedroom.
She collapsed onto her bed with a heavy sigh, feeling the soft mattress envelop her tired body. The room was quiet, the night finally still. Billie let out a long, slow breath, closing her eyes and allowing the exhaustion to wash over her. The last thing on her mind was Amelia, her beautiful daughter, who had finally found peace after such a long, painful night.
And somewhere in the house, under the soft glow of the nightlight, Amelia slept too, her tiny body cradled by dreams, the pain of the night forgotten in the warmth of her mother's love.
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