I NEED YOU||Jude Bellingham

010.

MARTYNA
21/07
As I sank into the plush leather seat of my private jet, the hum of the engines thrumming beneath me felt like the world's most extravagant lullaby. The familiar laughter of my closest friends surrounded me, yet my mind was swirling in a vivid tapestry of memories, so many moments from the last month that had reshaped me in ways I never saw coming.

May had dragged on like a scene from a long-winded movie. My time in Saudi Arabia felt like an eternity. I swear, between sips of strong Arabic coffee and bites of spicy falafel, I was convinced I could blend in. But I needed to spend some time with my family. Then when I came back to Europe during the last days of May, I reconnected with Kylian. Our encounters, charged with an intensity I hadn't anticipated, led us to the walls of a hotel twice. But this time, something changed, it wasn't like the first time.

We both agreed to pause the chaos we created, opting instead for the fragile bond of "friendship. Anything was better than hating each other, right?

Then June crashed in like an unexpected storm. The news hit me like a firework explosion: Kylian signed with Real Madrid, which meant he's going to living in the same city as me. Was this fate? Who needed a crystal ball when life could be this unpredictable? Oh what the fuck I'm saying this is just football affairs, I think this flight attendant has served me too many glasses of champagne.

Amidst the celebratory chaos, I found refuge in my little brother, Cris. His birthday party sparkled with joy, his laughter wrapping around me like a warm hug. In that moment of light, I cherished every second, even though a shadow loomed, our dad was away, already in Germany. Watching my brother grow was a bittersweet reminder of the fleeting beauty of childhood, it brought both warmth and heartache.

The Euros that followed were a bit of a letdown, too many own goals and not enough excitement. They paled in comparison to the World Cup in 2022. Germany's weather felt consistently dreary, much like dad's spirits after his last Euro match. Watching his despair when he missed that penalty against Slovakia shattered my heart, leaving me feeling helpless. In that frozen moment, surrounded by family, I too wept, my tears mingling with his, as if our hearts were one.

During those dreary Euro weeks, Georgina became my refuge. I confided in her about Kylian, and she promised to guard my secret like a precious treasure, not daring to whisper a word to Dad. Her presence was a balm, soothing my tangled thoughts.

The last match I saw was Portugal vs France, a clash of titans on the field. After the last Euro match of dad , Kylian enveloped me in a hug that spoke volumes. In that moment, all the unsaid words we danced around melted away, and for a blink, my sadness evaporated like sugar in warm tea.

He reached out to my grandma and uncle, a gesture that tethered our worlds even closer. My family loves him. When I saw that scene I imagined an alternate reality where fate would pull us together, but for now, we were caught in this push and pull,

As the echo of the Euros faded into the background, adventure called to me from a hidden paradise, a private island nestled in the Red Sea, enticing my family with dreams of sunshine and summer. With Dad, Gio and all my siblings we were ready to indulge the beauty of that island.

And now here I am, soaring above the clouds on my way to LA with my crew.

JUDE

I just lost my second Euros final, and the weight of it feels like a boulder crushing my chest. Each beat of my heart echoes the feeling of failure. In that moment, I felt like a fucking loser, a title that clung to me like a shadow refusing to disappear. How could I have failed my team? The gnawing self-doubt consumed me, unfurling like a dark cloud over my once bright spirit.