Battle Scars

two.

"Harper, watch out!" Cole yelled, his face twisting in a look of pure aggravation as he lowered his controller. The game over sign flashed in red on the screen as if taunting them. "You've got to be kidding me. This is the fifth game we've lost. In a row. It's like you're not even paying attention. I mean, do you even want to play because it doesn't look like you do."

Harper blinked slowly as his words made their way into her brain and pulled her from the fog. "Of course I want to play," she told him with a reassuring smile. "I was just trying to figure out which button to press and... sorry, I'll do better."

"You'll do better," he muttered with a shake of his head. "You've been out of it since yesterday. You just keep staring off into space like this." A glazed look came over his face as he focused on one spot in the living room. "Like a freaking zombie."

"Hey!" Harper said defensively. "I don't - that's not what I look like."

He fixed her with a look and dramatically rolled his eyes.

"Okay, fine. I guess I'm kinda spacing out today." Harper sighed as she spun the controller in her hand.

The truth was, the decision Judge Johnson came to the other day weighed heavily on her mind. The thought of spending two weeks out of the month with Ryan until the court decided about his parental rights felt like a punishment. It was all she could think of. She was trapped in a situation she had no control over. The uncertainty of her future hovered over her like a dark cloud. Harper found herself replaying the judge's words over and over again. Worst-case scenarios played through her mind and she struggled to keep the weight of it from crushing her. Every attempt to push these thoughts out of her mind only made them more persistent. She'd get through it because what choice did she have? But the logical part of her mind kept ringing alarms, warning her to brace for the worst. She was left in a constant state of unease as the impending court decision cast a shadow over everything she tried to enjoy.

"Kinda?" Cole asked, his face scrunched up. "What's going on with you? Even mom and dad are acting weird. You've been all spacey for days. It's not just the game, right? I know when something's bugging you, Harper. And I'm not buying the whole "I'm fine" act. If something's up, can you just tell me?"

"It's nothing. Everything's fine," Harper told him with what she hoped was a comforting smile. He didn't know about the judge's decision yet. The less he knew, the less he'd worry. Not wanting him to fire off a dozen more questions, she picked up the controller and focused on the TV. "Ready to kick my butt again?"

"Always," Cole said, grinning.

The game restarted and she kept her attention focused on the game this time. The troubled thoughts continued to swim in her mind, begging for her full attention but she didn't allow them to have power over her.

The minutes went by quickly and soon the daylight started to fade. When the sun was lower in the sky, casting a golden glow into the room, the doorbell rang. Her heart skipped a beat, the sound like a jolt to her already frayed nerves. Cole groaned and paused the game, and she tried to calm the flutter of worry in her chest. She tried to steady her breathing but the anticipation of who was at the door made her feel nervous, unsettled. The doorbell rang again, more insistent this time, and Cole looked over at her with a roll of his eyes.

"I'll get it," he grumbled and left the room in a rush.

Harper watched Cole leave the room with a sense of dread and curiosity. She put the controller down and rubbed at her eyes, which were tired of staring at the screen for so long. It had to have been over two hours but she was thankful for the distraction. For not letting the thoughts consume her for once.