Battle Scars

four.

The cafeteria noise faded into the background as Harper navigated the relatively empty hallway to her locker. Her eyes prickled with tears as she tried to reign in her emotions and steady her shaking hands. The weight of her encounter with Kyler settled heavily on her shoulders. She took a moment to collect herself, reminding herself it was the only way to make Kyler back off even though it drew unwanted attention towards her. Again. Once she collected her books for her afternoon classes, Harper slammed the locker door harder than intended. Turning around, she jumped when she noticed Demetri standing behind her, anxiously shifting from one foot to the other. She offered him a small, hesitant smile. Uncertain whether he was passing by or wanted to talk.

"Uh, hey," Demetri said with a nervous smile. "I wanted to check on you after, you know, the whole Kyler thing. I kinda saw what happened back there. It was pretty intense."

"I think the whole school saw," she said with a heavy sigh, wishing that she could go back to being the invisible foster kid that no one paid any attention to. At least then, when she made a mistake or something royally messed up happened, it wouldn't be spread around the whole school.

He nodded, bringing a hand to the back of his neck as he watched her. "So, uhm, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'll live," Harper said, nodding. "But thanks for checking in."

They stood there in an awkward silence as their conversation died out. It was like they were two strangers passing by in the halls, their summer friendship never having existed. Harper questioned whether she should say something to break the tension. The apology she'd been holding on to felt heavy, and she wasn't sure if saying it would even make a difference at this point.

Harper shifted on the spot before adjusting her bag. When it didn't appear as if either of them would say anything else, she let out a quiet sigh in the hope of them fixing the friendship that she'd broken. It should be on her to talk but what could she say? Apologize for the hundredth time and hope it would magically fix everything? The fear of saying the wrong thing troubled her because what if he brushed it off? Or worse, what if he told her it was too late to fix anything? That uncertainty paralyzed her. Rather than try, she opted for walking away because it was the only logical thing she could think of. It was cowardly but she'd used up all her bravery in her lifetime.

"Are we okay?" Demetri asked, stopping her from taking another step. "Or are we still in fight mode? Because you know how much I hate fighting, especially with friends."

Harper shrugged. "I don't know. I mean, I want us to be okay."

Fidgeting with the strap of his backpack, he gave her an awkward smile. "So do I. The last few weeks sucked, Harper. I hated us not talking and avoiding each other."

"Yeah, I hated it, too," she agreed quietly, not realizing how much of an impact her small group of friends made on her life until they were gone. She remembered the hurtful things that were said to her and her eyes hardened. "But are you sure you want to be friends with a hypocrite and a liar?"

"I never called you that," Demetri said with a pained wince. "I mean, not directly but I guess I never defended you either which, you know, wasn't great."

"It wasn't. I expected my friends to have my back."

"You know how I get when things get complicated. I panic. And that week everything just went to shit. Miguel ended up in the hospital, Sam needed to get stitches after fighting with Tory and then we found out you were keeping this big secret from us. I mean, you trained with Eli of all people, and... it was like a betrayal. He treated us like his personal punching bag all summer and then to hear that you weren't just training with him but actually liked him hurt. A lot. It was like you didn't trust us enough to tell us."