Lose Yourself

One's half

"Hey."

Sam looked up suddenly to see Marshall Mathers standing in his doorway. His 4th period AP Literature class fell silent. All eyes turned to the figure dressed in black.

He walked to the doorway of his classroom, confused. "What - what are you doing here?"

Em's fidgeted with his Rolex, nervously. "Security at this school is fuckin' ridiculous. Some 9-year-old held the door open for me. I could have been an armed psychopath, and here I am, walking the hallways."

Sam laughed in spite of the awkwardness. "There aren't any 9-year-olds in high school."

Em's expression mirrored Sam's and he allowed himself to smile. "Tell that to the toddlers playing concierge at the side door."

"That toddler was probably vaping."

"Oh, shit." Em clutched at his side. His stomach was killing him from the gluten fest he'd subjected himself to, he could taste donut flavored bile slicking the back of his throat.

Sam's voice dropped to a whisper. "You better not be armed."

"Oh my god, I'm not insane. I do not have a gun with me -- I've got a stomach ache." Em stared into Sam's classroom at the sour faced students glaring at them. "But you might want to consider packing heat."

"No, thank you. More guns in the classroom isn't going to help anyone." He leaned against the doorframe. "Is this why you're here? Security concerns?"

Em shifted his weight, uncomfortably. "I— You didn't return my messages."

Behind Sam, the students were growing restless. A student in the front row raised a phone to take a picture. "Is that your boyfriend, Mr. C?"

Sam's instincts kicked in and he hurled around. "Put your phone away, Katie! That's a demerit."

Em's eyes widened and he bit down on his lower lip. "I'm not hating seeing your disciplinarian side. I'm sorry about yesterday."

"What are you sorry about?" Sam whispered.

"I'm sorry I didn't know what to say when you said you're going to have to like me less. I don't want that." Em lowered his voice. "I don't want a hookup relationship."

Sam considered the words, emotions shifting on his handsome face. He turned to his class. "Summarize chapter 2 in the next couple minutes and I'll cancel homework tonight. We'll do the character analysis worksheet in class tomorrow."

His students immediately scrambled to open their laptops and began typing.

Sam glanced over his shoulder, satisfied that his class was on task. "Em, I'm fine with how things are going with us."

"But you want a real relationship."

Sam shrugged. "I'm a grown-up; I know that I'm not going to get what I want."

Em reached out and touched his hand, careful not to be seen. "You deserve better."

Sam flinched away from Em's touch. "I know that you don't want to change people's perception of you or your brand. I know how hard you work to maintain it."

"I don't care about any of that." He opened his arms to hug Sam, who took a step backward.

A student stood up in the back of the classroom. "You OK, Mr. Coulson?"

Sam turned to address the student. "I'm fine, Jordan. Get back to your work."

Em nodded at the student, appreciatively. "Hey, little dude, that's nice of you to ask. Keep looking out for other people."