Fighting Fire - s.k.

Chapter Thirteen

Stevie spent the first few days at home laying around and wallowing in her hurt. Her emotions had been flashing from anger to sadness rapidly and she really didn't know how to comprehend what had gone wrong.

When she ended things with Ryan, it didn't take her very long to stop having a physical reaction to the breakup. Especially because during that time, all she could do was see red. This was different. While her anger hung over her like a dark cloud, she was also overwhelmed with sadness. She had been so lost in her daydream-like state with Sam and suddenly he took all of that away from her.

It was troubling for Stevie to even try and reflect on it. Everything with Sam had been so wonderful and so horrible all at once. Stevie felt winded like she couldn't keep up.

During the last week, she filled a lot of her free time with hours of phone calls between Josh and Jake.

"Stevie," Josh sighed, "Are you sure I don't need to come out there?"

"I'm sure," Stevie chuckled sadly, "I promise I'm leaving the house today. I need to go to work and try and get my shifts back."

"Have you had any contact with Sam?"

"No," Stevie said sharply, "I told him to go home. I don't know if he did and I'm not wasting any time caring about whatever he's doing."

"Fair," Josh bit his lip, "I won't bother you about him anymore. But, if you change your mind, I can be there relatively quickly."

"Thank you, Josh," Stevie responded, "I love you."

"Love you too."

The call ended and Stevie laid back on her pillows and took a deep breath, studying the popcorn texture on her ceiling. She had taken a shower and was fully dressed, ready to face the outside world again but she was stalling.

Stevie had never been this angry at Sam before and that was saying something given the events of their relationship of over twenty years. This was an anger she was not very familiar with. Her chest was consistently tight, her skin ran hot, and she was so full of rage that within a matter of seconds, tears could fall from her eyes anytime.

Then the sadness would creep up to the surface. It was more debilitating than anything else. After she got back to her house that first night, Stevie felt like a hollow shell of herself. The way that she had fallen so recklessly for Sam and everything that she felt for him manifested so suddenly. Maybe it was always meant to be short-lived.

When she first crossed the line with Sam, she had no time to fully enjoy it. She was immediately riddled with anxiety surrounding the secrets she was keeping from Jake. It wasn't until after all of it was over, until she left the lake house behind, that she began to think about it all.

She thought about everything Sam confessed to her: being jealous of Jake, having feelings for her, and his close relationship with her dad. It made her reflect on what Sam's behavior was like around her before any of this happened.

Stevie thought about when he came over here with food for her and encouraged her to pack. She thought about the muffins and the way her stomach twisted into knots when he said they were his favorite. She thought about the day on the lake when they held each other in the water after he pushed her out of her canoe. It scared her how electrified she felt by the small physical interaction.

When she had finally been out in the open with him after fighting with Jake, she always regretted how previously she would run from that feeling.

Soon enough, Stevie had been going down a rabbit hole in her reflection. She remembered the photo of them in her dad's photo album when they were at that soccer game. There was more context to that photo than Stevie realized while talking about it with Sam.