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When we went to school that day, Alex didn't sit with us anymore.
"What's going on with her?" I asked Rachel. "I kissed her." She muttered. "What!?" I exclaimed. "Shh!" She hissed.
"You did what?" I asked, speaking through my teeth. "When?" "Yesterday, when I told you I was going to bring her food. I don't know why, but I kissed her."
"But then it became too real, and I got stressed, because Nico saw and if my parents knew.." She spoke. "You know what would happen then, so I said I wasn't gay and walked out."
"Oh my god..." I sighed. "Have you even said sorry?"
"No.." She whispered. "But I'm admitting my faults right now am I not."
"To me, yes, not to her." I nodded over to Alex. "Get your shit together Rach. You either say sorry to her or be prepared to sit alone today cause I am not leaving my friend alone on her birthday, and as bad as that sounds I will do it."
"But Benji—." I cut her off. "I am not hearing you out until sorries are said." Those were my last words to Rachel before walking over to Alex.
"Rough day?" I tried to lighten up the mood for Alex. "You could say that yeah." She chuckled, still sounding sad. I could see the way her eyes were droopy and she looked almost in between tired and energetic.
"Have you taken anything?" I asked her, not even caring about overstepping anymore. "Not to sound weird or anything but you sure as hell look like it."
"No?" She scoffed. "Why would you even think that?"
"Like I said, you look like it."
"But anyway, I want to hear what happened between you and Da— the other one." I quickly corrected myself. "Here?" She raised an eyebrow. "Yeah?" I replied. "Why not?"
"God you're dumb." She shook her head in disapproval. "Ow?" I scoffed. "I'll tell you during break." She rolled her eyes.
"Quiet down turn to page 394 of your textbooks please." Mr Anderson, the history teacher spoke.
As the classroom settled into the their work, I couldn't help but glance over at Alex. She was trying to focus on her textbook, but I could see the heaviness in her eyes. It wasn't just the exhaustion; it was the kind of weight that comes from too much on your mind and having nowhere to put it.
Rachel's confession was still ringing in my ears. She kissed her. And then she bailed, leaving Alex to deal with the fallout on her own. How could she just do that?
I wanted to press Alex for more details right then and there, but I knew better. History class wasn't the place, anywhere in school for that matter. Especially with all those rumours flying through school about the teachers.
And she wasn't ready to open up, especially not with Rachel sitting just a few rows away from us. So I kept my mouth shut and tried to focus on the lesson, even though my thoughts were racing with questions.
The minutes felt like hours until the bell finally rang, signaling the start of our break. I shot out of my seat and headed straight for Alex, who was already halfway out the door.
"Hey, let's go find somewhere quiet," I suggested, catching up to her in the hallway.
She nodded, her expression still guarded, and we made our way to the far end of the school, where a little-used staircase offered some privacy. We sat down on the steps, opposites of each other, and I waited for her to start.
"Okay, spill," I said gently, trying to coax her into talking.
She sighed, running a hand through her hair. "There's not much to say that you don't already know, Benj. Rachel kissed me, then freaked out and told me she wasn't gay. Dani's pissed at me because I messed up, and now I'm just... here, dealing with all of it."
I frowned. "Rachel told me what she did, but she hasn't even apologized to you, has she?"
Alex shook her head. "Nope. I guess I'm just supposed to pretend it didn't happen."
"That's bullshit, Alex. You don't deserve to be treated like that. Rachel needs to own up to what she did."
"I'm too tired to deal with it," she admitted, slumping against the wall. "I'm tired of fighting with people, tired of trying to make things work when everything just falls apart."
I reached out and placed a hand on her shoulder, giving it a reassuring squeeze. "You don't have to fight alone. I'm here for you, whatever you need."
She looked at me, her eyes softening a little. "Thanks, Benji. It means a lot."
"And as for Rachel," I continued, "I told her that if she doesn't apologize, I'm not hanging out with her. She needs to know that what she did was wrong, and if she's not willing to make it right, then she's not worth our time."
Alex smiled weakly. "You'd really do that? For me?"
"Of course I would. You're my best friend, Alex. I'm not going to let anyone treat you like crap and get away with it."
"Uhh, well about that, what if I was the one treating someone like crap.."
"Uh.. what!" I replied. "Uhm, yeah.."
"Oh my god— I hate this friend-group, this is too much drama. I'll go hang out with Nico then.." I sighed. I'd always kind of liked Alex's brother.
Not in a brotherly way.
"So do you want to know what I did..or?" Alex started. "Are you asking me if I know you at all? We have been friends since childhood, what do you think?" I scoffed. "Insulting that you think I don't know you like that."
"You got vulnerable with her and opened up, pushed her away, which is shitty to do and you know it. Then she gets mad, bla bla bla, fights, bla bla bla, and then you guys will eventually make up and make out, end of story, sort of happy ending, period."
"I don't know if she'll forgive me.." Alex pouted. I raised an eyebrow. "You're delusional."
