AITA? Reaction

2. Giving wedding dress to daughter-in-law instead of stepdaughter.

AITA for giving my wedding dress to my future daughter-in-law instead of my stepdaughter?

I 42F got married 24 years ago. I decided that if I had a daughter, I would pass the dress and accessories on to her. I chose a simple, elegant dress, rather than what was fashionable at the time, because I wanted something timeless that people could wear for generations to come. I had my son “Mark” now 22M a year after, and his father passed away when he was young. I raised Mark as a single mom for several years. I decided that when Mark married, I would give my dress and accessories to his wife.

When I was 33, I met “Rob” now 52M. I fell in love with him and we quickly married. He became a great father figure for Mark, and I was so excited to have a stepdaughter, “Molly” now 24F. My relationship with Molly had a rocky beginning. I’ve been patient and gentle with her. I’ve offered to take her shopping or get her nails done. I asked Rob about her favorite foods and made sure to cook those. She made it clear that she didn’t see me as her real mom.

Fair. Not all kids wants new parents.

Years passed, and I never changed the way I treated Molly. My door was always open for her, but she never changed the way she thought about me. She called me a trophy wife to my face. If I ever threw a charity event, she would remark “Wow, you’re so generous with dad’s money.”

NTA. She doesn't deserve the dress.

While she didn’t say anything explicitly, I could tell she looked down on me for not having a college degree.

As if you aren't anything without it 🙄

A couple years ago, I made a final offering to Molly. I brought her into my closet and showed her the dress and accessories and told her I would love for her to wear them at her wedding. Some alterations would have to be done (I am 5’9 and a size 4, while Molly is 5’4 and a size 8), but we could make it work. Molly scoffed and said I had archaic values and that the dress was trashy, and walked out.

NTA. She insulted it. So why would she get it?

That really hurt because she knew what that dress meant to me and she didn’t care. After that, I stopped making as much of an effort to build a relationship with her.

Fair enough.

Two months ago, Mark proposed to his college sweetheart “Lucy,” with whom I have a great relationship. When Lucy mentioned dress shopping, I showed her my dress. Lucy tried it on and it fit like a glove. She fell in love with it, and I told her the dress, shoes, and accessories were hers. She was so happy she literally cried.

Aw. I'm so happy for this!

However, a couple days ago, Molly reached out to me out of the blue to ask if the dress was still available.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. NO!

I told her I had given it to Lucy. She asked if I could get it back from Lucy,

What the actual fuck?

since I offered it to her first,

And she also refused first.

and I told her 1) she said she didn’t want it, 2) it fits Lucy perfectly, and 3) Lucy is the only one getting married within the foreseeable future.

Now Molly is saying I’m favoring Lucy over her

Yeah, normally people favour the ones that treats them better.

Strange, right?

because she’s conforming to traditional standards of femininity (getting married and being thin).

That's not the point girl...

That’s absolute baloney, but it got me thinking that if the roles were reversed and Lucy was the one asking for the dress after initially turning it down, would I give it to her? Is Molly right that I’m favoring Lucy? AITA?

NTA. I bet that she discovered you gave it to Lucy and now she wants it because she doesn't want Lucy to have it.

I have no proof, but either doubts.

Taken from:

r/AmItheAsshole
u/TemperatureOverall94