A hundred different ways to say the same thing

Chapter 6 - Strain

GROUP CHAT:

GLEEKS R US

(Blubber the Whale changed the chat name to 'NUDE ERECTIONS')

NUDE ERECTIONS

Blubber the Whale: Kurt just explained the joke to me lol
Tater Tot Diva: It took you till now?!
Michael?: It's literally been two years Finn
Michael?: Good party last night btw man

(Puck left the Chat)

Hot Wheelz: I am unbelievably hungover
Hot Wheelz: Could someone please help push me home
Hot Wheelz: Not safe to drive ♿
Frodo: Your still here?
Hot Wheelz: Yeah im still here
Hot Wheelz: And so are you it seems
Frodo: What?
Hot Wheelz: That was loud 😉
Frodo: Thats not funny
Blubber the Whale: Dude gross
Blubber the Whale: I was gonna offer to drive you but now i'll let you wheel yourself into the river.
Hot Wheelz: Noo im sorry your right
Hot Wheelz: Next time I will pretend not the hear you having hangover sex
Lady Hummel: Eww don't confirm it for the gc viewing audience.
Tater Tots Diva: Is hangover sex a thing?
Blaine Warbler: I feel like I missed a lot
Stutter Fakerer: You sure did...
Blaine Warbler: ...?
Tater Tot Diva: Tina no
Tater Tot Diva: Not here
Blaine Warbler: Not what
Stutter Fakerer: Notice how she's being awfully quiet
Blaine Warbler: Who's she
Tater Tot Diva: take it to pms Tina!
Hot Wheelz: I love that your issue isn't the gossiping but the publicness of the the gossiping
Stutter Fakerer: It doesn't count as gossip if it's out in the open
Frodo: It isn't gossip. It's assault.
Blaine Warbler: Assault?!?!
Stutter Fakerer: And Puck left the gc
Blaine Warbler: Is everyone okay?

(Blubber the Whale added Puck to the group)
(Puck left the group)

Blubber the Whale: Well...
Tater Tot Diva: Tbf she's probably asleep
Blaine Warbler: Who is she?!
Hot Wheelz: Wanna take a wild guess?
Tater Tot Diva: Yall its literally 9am how are you not comatose
Blubber the Whale: some of us haven't been to sleep yet.
Tater Tot Diva: Ewwww say less
Blubber the Whale: No not that!
Blubber the Whale: Well yes that
Blubber the Whale: But also some of us just kinda stayed up watching movies once the party finished
Lady Hummel: Yeah I couldn't sleep
Tater Tot Diva: oh cute
Blubber the Whale: Wait why are you awake?
Tater Tot Diva: Church
Hot Wheelz: Omg you went to service hungover
Tater Tot Diva: I went to perform in choir hungover actually
Hot Wheelz: Damn someone's putting in the work
Tater Tot Diva: Can't let down the lord
Hot Wheelz: Did that bridge not get crossed when you drank half a bottle of rum straight last night with no chaser.
Hot Wheelz: And also told your mother and father you were at all same sex god fearing bed by eleven slumber party at the Cohen Changs?
Blaine Warbler: You guys still haven't told me what's up? What happened?
Hot Wheelz: 'Honor thy mother and father'
Tater Tot Diva:... That's it Finn wheel him into the River
Lady Hummel: Blaine I'll message you
Lady Hummel: Just for clarity's sake. We all know it was just the alcohol. People said things they don't mean and it doesn't really matter
Stutter Fakerer: Well It isn't really what was said that's the issue
Lady Hummel: Drop it
Lady Hummel: It's between the two of them
Blaine Warbler: What two of them?
Blaine Warbler: In fact. Who am I kidding? I have already hazarded a pretty good guess.
Frodo: Kurt's right. This isn't a matter for gossip
Frodo: It needs to be handled privately.
Hot Wheelz: Oh shit
Stutter Fakerer: That can't be good
Hot Wheelz:... Blaine, when did you get added to this chat?!

~

Santana woke up in a cold sweat. It felt as if she'd been startled, jolted awake. She wasn't sure what she was dreaming about, but reckoned it couldn't have been anything good. Not with the impending feeling of doom that weighed over her. But maybe that was just the excruciating headache and the way all her guts felt ready to erupt if she so much as moved a muscle.