untitled ; 2024

the balancing act

[15th January 2002, 7:00 PM]

The Seoul skyline glowed in the early evening light, and inside the SM Entertainment building, the atmosphere was equally charged. Hyun-jeong glanced at the clock in the practice room, her breath coming in short bursts as she tried to catch up with the intense choreography session. She had just come from a long day of filming, her mind still half-occupied with the scenes she had shot earlier.

Can I really do this? she wondered, wiping the sweat from her brow. Her schedule was getting more demanding with each passing day. Between early morning shoots and late-night training sessions, sleep had become a luxury.

"Hyun-jeong, focus!" The instructor's voice cut through her thoughts. She snapped back to attention, pushing herself to match the precision of her fellow trainees. Around her, the boys moved in sync, their expressions reflecting the same exhaustion she felt, but they didn't falter.

Jung-soo, always the leader, noticed her struggle. "Hey, you're doing great. Just a little more energy, okay?" he encouraged with a smile. His words were kind, but they also carried the weight of expectation. She was the only girl in the group, and that made her stand out—not just to the instructors but to everyone.

She nodded, forcing herself to keep going. I can't let them down.

As the session ended, the trainees collapsed onto the floor, catching their breath. Hyun-jeong leaned against the mirror, closing her eyes for a moment. She could hear the boys chatting, their voices a mix of relief and camaraderie.

"Another late night?" Jae-joong's voice was soft as he settled down beside her. He had a way of being considerate without making a big deal out of it.

She nodded, too tired to say much. "Filming ran late."

"You're always filming," he said, a hint of admiration in his tone. "I don't know how you do it."

I don't know either, she thought, but she simply smiled. "I guess I just love it too much to stop."

"Still, you should take care of yourself," Jae-joong replied, his concern genuine. "You're doing two jobs at once."

The conversation drifted as the trainees started to leave the room, heading to the cafeteria for dinner. Hyun-jeong stayed behind, needing a moment to herself. She watched her reflection in the mirror, noticing how tired she looked. But there was something else there too—a determination that had grown stronger over the past year.

Her phone buzzed in her bag, pulling her from her thoughts. It was a text from her drama director, praising her for today's shoot. The message was brief, but it reminded her why she was doing this—why she was pushing herself so hard.

This is what I chose. I have to give it everything.

[5th February 2002, 6:30 AM]

The alarm blared in the darkness, pulling Hyun-jeong from a dreamless sleep. She groaned, reaching out to silence it. Outside, the city was just beginning to wake up, but her day had started hours ago.

After a quick shower and a bite of breakfast, she was out the door, heading to the set for another day of filming. The makeup artist chatted with her as she applied foundation, but Hyun-jeong's mind was already on the dance routine she had to perfect that night.

The director called for action, and she slipped into her role effortlessly. In front of the camera, she wasn't just Hyun-jeong; she was the character, living her emotions, telling her story. It was a rush—an escape from the pressure she felt in her other life as a trainee.

But even as she lost herself in the scene, a part of her was still counting down the hours until she had to be back at the SM building, practising until her muscles ached.

[20th March 2002, 10:00 PM]

"Good job today, everyone!" The instructor's voice echoed through the practice room as the session finally ended. The trainees were drenched in sweat, but the mood was lighter. They had been working on a new routine for weeks, and it was finally coming together.

Hyun-jeong felt a sense of accomplishment as she caught her breath, knowing she had managed to keep up despite the exhausting schedule. But the feeling was short-lived as her phone buzzed with a reminder of tomorrow's early call time.

"Another shoot?" Hyuk-jae asked, noticing her expression.

She nodded, slipping the phone back into her bag. "Yeah, it's for the drama."

"You're something, you know that?" He said it with a grin, but his voice showed genuine respect. "I'd be dead if I had to do all that."

"I'm just doing what I have to," she replied, but inside, she was starting to wonder how long she could keep up this pace.

Later that night, as she lay in bed, sleep refused to come. Her mind was a whirlwind of scripts and dance steps, of lines to memorize and moves to perfect. The pressure was mounting, and for the first time, she felt the weight of it all pressing down on her.

What if I can't keep up? The thought was terrifying, but she pushed it away. She had come too far to back down now. She was determined to prove that she could excel in both worlds, even if it meant sacrificing her sleep and her free time.

[4th April 2002, 8:00 PM]

The sun had set, and the lights of Seoul twinkled outside the windows of the SM practice room. The trainees were gathered in a circle, taking a rare break to celebrate Hyuk-jae's birthday. There was cake, laughter, and for a moment, the stress of training was forgotten.

Hyun-jeong watched as the boys joked around, playfully smearing icing on each other's faces. She smiled, feeling a warmth in her chest. Despite the exhaustion, despite the doubts, these moments made it all worth it.

As the celebration wound down, she found herself standing by the window, looking out at the city. Jun-su joined her, his presence comforting.

"You're doing amazing, you know," he said quietly, and for once, she let herself believe it.

"Thanks," she replied, her voice soft. "I'm just trying to keep up."

"You're not just keeping up," he said, his tone serious. "You're leading the way."

She looked at him, surprised by his words. But before she could respond, the other trainees called for them to join in a final group photo. As they all huddled together, she realized that, in her own way, she was doing exactly what she had set out to do. She was balancing it all, even if it wasn't always perfect.

And as the camera flashed, capturing the moment, she felt a sense of peace that had eluded her for months. I can do this, she thought, smiling at the camera. I can do this.