untitled ; 2024

weight of expectation

[TW: SELF HARM & DEPRESSION MENTIONED]

The atmosphere in the Super Junior dorm was unusually tense. The group had just finished a gruelling round of promotions for their recent comeback with "U". While the public excitement was high, behind closed doors, the strain was becoming increasingly evident. For Hyun-jeong, the pressure was mounting to unbearable levels.

The media buzzed with the latest news about Super Junior, but one story in particular dominated the headlines: Kyuhyun's addition to the group. The public reaction was mixed, with many fans questioning the new lineup. The whispers of discontent were amplified by online forums and social media, fueling rumours and gossip.

A prominent online blog featured an explosive headline:

"Kyuhyun Joins Super Junior: A Strategic Move or a Desperate Attempt to Boost Ratings?"

The article questioned the legitimacy of Kyuhyun's addition, suggesting that his presence was a calculated decision to stir up controversy and generate buzz. The rumours didn't stop there. Another blog posted:

"Hyun-jeong's Secret Deal: Was She Bribed to Stay in Super Junior?"

The piece was filled with unsubstantiated claims and inflammatory accusations. The author suggested that Hyun-jeong's continued presence in the group was due to a behind-the-scenes deal, implying that her talent and hard work were secondary to monetary interests.

Hyun-jeong stumbled upon these articles late one night, her eyes scanning the harsh words and speculations. Each headline seemed like a personal attack, cutting through her with a painful accuracy. She tried to brush it off, but the damage was done. The public's perception felt like a weight around her neck, tightening with every negative comment.

In the quiet of her room, Hyun-jeong sat on the edge of her bed, her hands trembling as she read through the comments section. Each post felt like a personal affront, feeding into her deepest insecurities. The constant barrage of negativity began to erode her sense of self-worth.

The next morning, the weight of the previous night's revelations lingered. Hyun-jeong dragged herself through the day, her performance suffering as a result. The members noticed her lack of energy but didn't press her, respecting her apparent need for space.

During a break in the schedule, she found herself alone in the dorm's bathroom. The room was cold and sterile, a stark contrast to the warmth and light that had once defined her world. She stared at her reflection in the mirror, the exhaustion and sadness evident in her eyes.

The weight of the rumours and the harsh judgments felt unbearable. In a moment of desperation, she picked up a small blade from the bathroom cabinet—a habit she had previously avoided. Her thoughts were chaotic, a swirl of self-loathing and frustration. The blade pressed against her skin, and she drew it slowly, feeling a sharp sting as blood began to seep from the cut.

The sight of the blood shocked her. It was both terrifying and strangely relieving. As she watched the crimson droplets pool on her skin, a sob broke from her lips. The pain was immediate and raw, but it was also a physical manifestation of the emotional turmoil she had been feeling.

Suddenly, a knock on the bathroom door startled her. It was Heechul, his voice filled with concern. "Hyun-jeong, are you okay? I've been looking for you."

The sound of his voice snapped her back to reality. She quickly tried to stop the bleeding, using a towel to apply pressure to the cut. The blood seeped through, staining the fabric. She wiped her tears, trying to compose herself before opening the door. Heechul's worried expression greeted her, his eyes searching hers for answers.

"I'm fine, oppa," she said, her voice barely audible. "Just needed a moment alone."

Heechul's gaze fell to the bloodstained towel in her hand. His eyes widened in horror, and he stepped inside the bathroom, taking in the sight of her trembling form. "Hyun-jeong, what have you done?" he asked, his voice breaking.

Tears welled up in Hyun-jeong's eyes, and she fought to hold them back. "I... I don't know what to do. The pressure, the rumours... it's all too much."

Heechul's expression softened, filled with a mix of fear and sadness. He quickly took the towel from her, wrapping it tightly around her injured arm to stop the bleeding. "You don't have to go through this alone. We're all feeling the strain, but we're here for each other. Let us help you."

His words broke through her defences, and the tears she had been holding back began to flow. She felt a mix of relief and sorrow as she let herself be comforted by Heechul. The support from her fellow members was a small but vital lifeline, reminding her that she wasn't entirely alone in her struggles.

As Heechul helped her clean up and tended to her injury, the reality of her situation settled in. The emotional pain she had been trying to escape had manifested in a physical way, and the damage was a stark reminder of how much she needed support.

The following days were marked by a slow and painful process of healing. Hyun-jeong sought professional help to cope with her depression, and the group's management worked to address some of the public's concerns, attempting to mitigate the damage caused by the negative press. Though the road to recovery was long and arduous, Hyun-jeong found solace in the understanding and support of her fellow members.

During one of their rare moments of downtime, the members gathered in the living room, trying to unwind from their hectic schedule. Donghae, always the light-hearted one, suggested they watch a movie together to lift their spirits. The idea was met with enthusiastic agreement, and the group settled in with snacks and blankets, trying to enjoy a few hours of normalcy.

As they watched the film, Hyun-jeong found herself laughing along with the others, her worries momentarily pushed aside. The simple pleasure of being with her friends and sharing a light-hearted moment offered a brief respite from the pressures she faced.

After the movie, as the group chatted and laughed, Hyun-jeong felt a sense of comfort and belonging. Despite the ongoing media scrutiny and personal struggles, she realized that the support of her friends was a crucial part of her journey.

That evening, Hyun-jeong had a long conversation with Young-joon, the manager, who had been a steady source of support throughout the ordeal. They discussed the importance of managing public relations and addressing the negative rumors head-on. Young-joon reassured her that the company was working on a strategy to counteract the damaging gossip and to better protect the group's image.

"Hyun-jeong," Young-joon said gently, "I know this has been incredibly difficult for you. But remember, you are not alone in this. We're all here to support you, and we'll work through it together."

His words provided a glimmer of hope, reinforcing her resolve to face the challenges head-on. The process of managing public expectations and media scrutiny was ongoing, but Hyun-jeong felt a renewed sense of determination.

As time passed, the media frenzy eventually began to subside, though the scars of the experience remained. Hyun-jeong continued to work on her mental health and found solace in the support of her fellow members. The bond they shared grew stronger, and the challenges they faced together brought them closer as a group.

Though the path ahead was still fraught with challenges, Hyun-jeong learned valuable lessons about resilience and self-care. She understood that while the weight of expectations could be daunting, it was also an opportunity for growth. By navigating the pressures of fame with a balanced perspective, she found a way to continue her journey with strength and authenticity.