More than a friend.

V

Apo's Pov.

After leaving the dining area I went up to my room and to my surprise P'Mile was inside sitting at the edge of my bed.

"I thought your in the other room." I casually said then pick the clothes he throws at the ground.

"I always stay here at this particular room so whats the matter ? Is that man gonna get mad at me for sleeping here with you?" The sleeping he is talking about is when we both share body heats cause after all he never sleeps here after all that happen.

"P'Mile I think we should talk about it too." I want to end this mess. I don't wanna fall deeper into the pit of darkness where no one will ever be there to save me.

"I don't want to unless you stop calling me Phi again." He then look at me with a serious expression.

"Why? Is there any problem on the way I call you? I been calling you P'Mile eversince we know each other so whay does it matter now?" Its true that I prefer calling him Mile alone but calling him Phi helps me remind myself that I am just a young brother to him nothing more.

"Apo please you know that eversince we did have that kind of relationship you stop calling me Phi cause you said it was inappropriate for two brothers to have sex." It was true that I told him that way back before when we start this kind of relationship.

"I know but , I want everything to be back to normal cause this kind of relationship is more inappropriate that calling you Phi. P'Mile we know each other for so long and I don't want to ruin what we have now. We better of as friends." I said then was about to stand up but he pulled me back and trap me inside his grip.

"P'Mile come on now and get off of me." He is much stronger that me cland bigger than me so my body can't really remover itself to his grip.

"I won't let you go unless you tell me that truth about what is happening to you." His voice is full of authority. Now I know why the director and producers told us that his character, Kinn is really based and created for him.

"P'Mile there is no particular problem here I just wanted thung to go back to how it really is way before I start being your bed warmer" I told him but he seems like nit satisfied with me alibi.

"Apo you are not and will never be a bed warmer it's just that we have a special bond that lead us to what we are now." Whatever you call this sh*t

"You don't need to sugar coat it Phi. It is what it is. I am a friend you warms you up when you need to release some heat." Tears started to fall down my cheeks. I know I told myself to be satisfied on what we have now but I just can't I want more from it. I want to be the person who will grow old beside him. I want to be the one  he loves. I want to be MORE THAN A FRIEND but I know I will stay there and watch him being with the person he loves from a far until the day I die.

"But Apo that is the truth. You aren't a bed warmer cause I--" he can't continue uttering a word cause he can't bring himself to say those words cause I will never be enough for those words I am not the one.

" See you can't utter a word how to really describe what we have. So it was much better to stop." I said then slowly freed my hands to his grip which is now loose.

I was about to push him away but once again I was caught.

"You are right I don't know what do we really have now but I can't go back being friends Apo. I can't and I don't know why but I don't want that either." Maybe he is feeling guilty.

"It's ok P'Mile we can work things out until we bring the old us again." I assure him.

"No Apo you don't understand but I really can't go back to being just a friend or even a older brother to you I really am sorry." Can't he just give it a rest.

"P'Mile we should stop this cause I can't take it anymore. The more we continue the more I fall to the dark pit that no one will ever save me." On again my tears pours down.

But I was taken a back when all of a sudden his lips meets mine. At first I was so shock that I can't even move my own body .

"Come on Apo answer me." He said between the kiss and it feels like my body decides on its own and it answers his kisses back.

When our lips parted Mile look at me straight to my eye. "Can you please help me know what really this feelings are and please bare with me a little more Apo until I figure things out please don't give up on me."

I don't know but those words of him really did affect my whole being big time.

"Don't give up on me please Apo I am begging you." He then put his head on my neck and the next thing I know he was already crying.

"I know P'Mile , going back to what we are is really hard so I will be helping you until you figure things out but I can guarantee you that I can help you until the end cause the only person who can really help you is you yourself. But don't worry cause I won't go anywhere until you told me to back away." I said but he just tighten the hug.

Mile I will gamble again one more time for you but if I failed once again and didn't win this gamble for your love. I will be quitting for good cause this is the last string of hope I have in me. I am betting once again to a feeling that was still unknown whether it is love or just a mere affection towards a brother.

This gamble is the kost scary gamble I'll be doing in my life cause you gave me an unknown hope which doesn't have a strong basis and just a mere words I don't think even have a weight to it.

"I hope this time you'll love me just like how I love you."

*******

Hello readers here is another update for this story. I hope you all enjoy reading, love you all 💚💛.