Throat Of Thorns

chapter 4

Her embrace sent a wave of comfort in me, something I had never come to experience before. Everytime someones hands came in contact with my body it was to pain me, explore me, degrade me. Use me. This was a new feeling, one so normal yet so distant from what I'm used to, and I forget Rogers touch for a moment. Only a moment though, before his hands make his way up my body, outlining every curve I have, grabbing me, choking me, shoving me, forcing me and I immediately pull away from Marjories arms. The little girl who felt a sense of comfort was gone.

I move away and my eyes dart to the floor, I can't bring myself to make eye contact with her, she'd seen me weak, broken, in a pathetic state. The night air was frigid and small drops of rain fell, threatening to pour. Marjories eyes were burning into me and I could feel her getting increasingly more concerned, though she was unsure of what to do. She shouldn't do anything, there's no need.

"Siobhan, what's happened?"

I couldn't tell her, even if I wanted to, Rogers too powerful, too dangerous and I cant risk anyone getting hurt, I just couldn't. How I wish I could pour my heart and soul out to her, explain to her everything that mans done to me, how much hes pushed me around and played with me like a puppet on a string. 'Worthless.'
he tells me I'm worthless, he feeds me these insults, how im a nasty cow, an evil witch, a burden, a mistake. And I believe it, every single word. Why wouldn't I? Never in my life have I done something positive or meaningful, all I've ever done is ruin people. Starting with myself.

"Nothing Marjorie, I'm fine, leave it" I shut her down, there's no point staying here. I may as well go back to the hellhole I call home. I stand up but before I'm able to move away Marjories fingers intertwined with mine with a slightly unexpected tight grip, and she gently tugs my hand indicating for me to sit back down.
"Listen, I know you and me aren't exactly friends and sometimes we don't see eye to eye- ever- but seeing you like this breaks my heart, and I want to help you, so please, let me." my eyes meet hers and I notice how her expression has softened, it's not threatening, not scared, just comforting. My legs give in and I sit back on the bench, holding Marjories hand, it's only a small gesture but it's nice, something that makes me feel safe.

"Roger." The only word I managed to say, but I'm certain it speaks for itself. One word with a thousand meanings.

The pain in my throat from it closing up pales in comparison to the pain my mind and body goes through, each time he lays his hand on me a new memory is indented on my skin.