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I'm heading to the library in the middle of lunch to clear my head because Simon is pissing me off. My crew tried to get up and follow me, but I explained that I wanted to be alone for a bit and they completely understood.
I've been having a hard time sleeping lately, so I practically slept through my first four periods.
My mind was spinning as I tried to fall asleep last night, especially when I got distracted by a certain someone. I usually have a hard time sleeping, thinking about football and whatnot, but last night all l could think about was the flower boy.
His name is Liam.
When Niall ran into Liam yesterday, I didn't think much of it. I thought he was pretty cute but wasn't expecting to talk to him again. He just seemed so nervous about us crowding him, so I figured it would be best to leave him alone for good. I already knew who he was because his parents run Payne's Tech Company, but I also heard that they aren't very good people. I'm sure some of his nerves have come from the life he grew up in, but even still, I would never make him purposely uncomfortable.
When he was the one to walk into the flower shop, I couldn't believe my eyes. I made a complete fool of myself, but it was completely worth it to make him laugh. The cutest dimple appeared on one side of his cheek as he let himself go. Once he stopped laughing, I could tell he was closing off again.
However, I had nothing to worry about because by the end of the night, Liam and I were cracking jokes and he wasn't stuttering anymore.
My mom always told me my biggest weakness is falling for people too fast.
One time in seventh grade, I came home bawling because my first girlfriend broke up with me. It only lasted about a week, but I was devastated because I thought she was as committed to the relationship as I was. It sounds ridiculous looking back to that time, considering we were still in middle school, but that helped me realize something important.
Whenever I love, it's with my whole heart. It was so embarrassing for me to break down in front of my mom like that, but when the same thing happened freshman year, she had to step in.
She helped me understand that getting your heart broken is inevitable, but one can still notice signs of someone slipping away.
This is a significant part of why I'm not open to dating anyone and everyone in high school because I know they'll eventually get sick of the person I am. I don't like to party or bring unnecessary attention to myself. I don't like being disrespectful or mean to people either, which is the weirdest thing because most people expect it at this point.
I already don't like the 'Golden Boy' title because l always have to live up to the perfection that people imagine. I'm sure I would lose the title in a heartbeat if I were to come out as bisexual, not that I care much about the title in the first place.
