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Oliver and I are chilling in one of the media rooms, having a movie marathon since my parents are out for the weekend. I'm sure Oliver has plenty of tasks to be done before my parents get home, but he is nice enough to spend some time with me.
Some of the other house workers have noticed how close Oliver and I have gotten, and I can only hope they don't snitch to my parents. I've never gotten real close to my parent's workers, so I can't tell you what will happen if they find out about Oliver.
We are currently going through movies we know are bad and making fun of them. This is one of my favorite things to do on my own, but now I have someone to do it with. After too many Twilight movies, we've decided to switch to a different, universally hated movie. To be completely honest, I have no idea what is on the screen, but I was getting sick of the sappy romance.
This whole situation makes me think of Zayn, though. I would love to do this same thing with him and just hang out. Hearing him laugh beside me, jokingly point at the screen, and sit close to me with his arm resting across my shoulder. It's all l could ever ask for.
The more I think about Zayn, the redder my face gets. I don't know what it is about him, but my heart skips a beat every time he smiles. Not even that, my heart skips a beat every time I see him. I've never felt this before and I don't know what it means. AlI I can tell you is that all the feelings Bella describes for Edward are the ones I'm feeling for Zayn.
And that scares me.
I have accepted that I will probably be alone for the rest of my life and take over my parent's stupid company.
Zayn is teaching me differently, though.
He's helping me become the person I've always wanted to be but kept hidden behind a mask.
I've learned to be proud of myself for the first time. I've learned what makes me happy. I've also learned how to open up to someone, lean on someone, and feel free in my own body.
Zayn has taught me all of that over the past three weeks that we've known each other.
But even still, I'm scared of getting too close to him.
I've definitely never felt this cuddly with a boy before, nor did I expect it to be a boy.
My parents always had it engraved in my head that I would have a beautiful wife.
Eventually, kids would follow, including a son to inherit the company after me. I don't know if I see that anymore.
I've never really questioned my sexuality before, but I don't feel the need to question it now. I'm just going to go with however I'm feeling, trying to embrace it. If my feelings for Zayn develop into something more, which they probably will, it won't bother me.
