Empty Space | Jeon Jungkook

Part 11

**

"I'm coming over," Yeonjun says over the line.

"No."

"___, you've been ugly crying for days. I know that because you won't put the video on when I call you."

"You brat. I don't put it on because I'm under the covers and you won't see anything anyway."

You just know he's rolling his eyes.

"But really, don't come here. You just got back from a work trip and you need to be with your girlfriend."

"Hana won't mind it, she loves you."

"And I love her, too. So just stay with her. I'll crash your date when I've reached my absolute lowest point, I promise," you sniff.

"Okay fine but be honest, how does it feel to finally let it all out?"

"I don't know. I'm not in the processing period yet. It's been two days but I'm still dealing with the aftermath of my outburst. Which is a lot of crying and inability to sort out whatever I'm feeling."

"I love you, okay?" He says after some time. "No one expects you to be okay but I hope you will be."

You say your goodbye and bury yourself under the covers and all the thoughts and emotions that you're allowing yourself to feel. You're not sure what you were expecting from a confrontation, which isn't really what happened because it was just all you talking and Jungkook looking immensely guilty and lost and speechless. And you wanted to hug him and tell him it was all okay then hit his chest right after because you're still hurting.

Is this even normal? To feel so much anger and hatred and yearning and affection for someone who'd hurt you? To want to lash out at him yet want him to try harder, to make amends, to lie to you again so you could hear him say that he cares about you?

You meant what you said, that you needed him to comfort you even if you detested him. That hasn't changed. Because at this moment, when you're falling deeper into the hole of despair because of him, you want nothing else but to feel his strong arms around you, cradle you in his chest, and tell you that everything is going to be okay.

**

Your mind is a mess, moreso your heart. You want him, you hate him. You want to see him, but you don't. It's the latter that always wins, though, as you request for collective action from your entire team on Operation Avoid Officer Jeon.

At least one person is tasked to watch the door on the hour he usually comes and when he does, someone else takes over the counter for you. You're signaled when he leaves and you never know what to do with the information of him asking if you're on the clock.

But he's a police officer and you're sure he knows. Your friends may be supportive but they're terrible actors, what with Hoseok not making eye contact, Jimin constantly checking the kitchen door, and Jin going overboard with his jokes and his laugh that it's pretty obvious; heck, even the other customers would probably think so.

But Jungkook lets you all do your act. He can't force you to speak with him if you don't want to. He's the one who got all tongue-tied, anyway. A few weeks pass and the act continues, but by this time, everyone is in on it, even him.

The dreams are less, but they still happen. It just feels odd knowing that he's in the same town that sometimes you don't know if you're hallucinating or if he's real but you try to distract yourself with other things, like taking cooking classes.

It's right after your morning cooking class one Saturday when you get a call from Busan Police Department, informing you that the case from four years ago has officially been closed and you and Yeonjun can collect Yi-soo's possessions from that day and some items that were left in the home.

You've forgotten all about the police keeping Yi-soo's things, with her body being examined and clothes kept in evidence boxes. Their house was cordoned off even months after you and Yeonjun left town and you don't really know why it had taken so long to close the investigation.

But you agree, thinking about the other half of the friendship bracelet that you've been meaning to get back. You decide not to prolong the inevitable and take the train that same day with Yeonjun. It should be a quick one - get the items, then leave.

**