I know it isn't true
Love is just a lie
Made to make you blue
Louis can't believe he is all on his own again. He never left, he always let Harry hurt him, and he always forgave him, or came back to him in no time. And now he finally found the courage to leave. He still doubts if it was a good decision, he still loves Harry. He can't forget him. But on the other hand, he also can't forget what Harry had done to him.
It feels so easy just to hate Harry, but he can't. He knows it is the most logical thing to hate Harry, but all he can feel for him is love. It doesn't make sense.
To let his mind think of something else but Harry, Louis decides to make himself a sandwich. But soon his mind wanders off to the time when Harry made his sandwiches, they tasted so good. Harry tasted so good. And damn, his mind fucks him over again, because he is once again thinking about Harry.
He is thinking about the last words he said to Harry.
"You don't love me, you never did! This is the last time you did this to me, we are done, I don't know why you keep begging me to stay with you or come back to you. Like I am a stupid fool. I believed you every time you said it was the last time. But now I know I am so done with you, I'm done with us, I'm leaving, and this time for real! YOU.DON'T.LOVE.ME!"
And now thinking about those words, he feels the doubt, does he really wants to be alone, does he really want to live without Harry. It makes no sense, Harry hurt him so much, and still he loves him.
He knows Harry can live without him, he has proven it over and over again, and still he comes back to Louis every time. He can't help but wonder if there is something more, why do they keep coming back to each other? He told Harry that Harry doesn't love him, but he saw the hurt in his eyes. Does Harry love him? It can't be, why would he hurt him over and over, you don't do that to someone you love.
Or maybe you just hurt the person you love, because they love you too and are most likely to forgive you.
Louis knows why he found the courage to leave, it was the fact he really saw Harry cheat on him for the first time. All the other times, he heard it from friends or just random people, who saw Harry with somebody else but him at a party or at work. All those times it hurt to know that Harry cheated on him, but this time he saw it, and that really hurt. Yes he saw Harry kissing somebody else but that was different, he stopped it before something could happen. But to see that was really devastating.
It was this time Louis decides to go home early from work. Harry's car was in the driveway when he pulls up to the house. There is this little voice in his head that tells him not to yell Harry's name, but prepare to see things he doesn't want to see. Louis makes his way up to the stairs and sees clothes on the floor that don't belong to Harry. As Louis gets closer to the master bedroom he sees the door is slightly open and he hears moaning. Louis' heart drops as he sees some basic bitch riding Harry, Louis can see he is enjoying it, eeww gross, and clears his throat. Harry looks at Louis, then back at the person riding his dick, and it doesn't take more than a second for him to throw her of off his body. Harry is not hard anymore and can only look at Louis with his green eyes wide open. Harry doesn't say anything. Suddenly a sort of peace falls over Louis, he is not going to fight for Harry anymore, he is done, this is it. Louis doesn't feel the need to say anything as he turns around when his feet allow him to move again.
Harry runs after him. "What are you doing home so early?" Harry asks. Louis just looks at him, dumbfounded. "Well I am so sorry I came home early to interrupt your fuckfest in OUR bed" Louis says. Louis feels so tired, this is it, this is the end, he can't do it anymore. "Please don't leave, I love you" he hears Harry say. And here he says the last words to Harry.
It still hurts when he thinks about it, but also he still feels so much love. He saw the hurt in Harry's eyes when he left. He was done fighting, this was it. Louis thinks he really hurt Harry by not fighting for him anymore.
Maybe it was a good thing. Maybe it was a bad thing, he really doesn't know anymore.
He knows one thing for sure: He still loves Harry, that asshole.
