That Fine Line

Chapter 19 - The Pain

I waited for the dreams to come. But none came. My mind was just empty. In a way, it was peaceful. No more conflicting thoughts. No more worries. No more regrets. No more feelings. No more love...

An immense pain struck my chest. I gasped for air, gulping and panting for breath. I could feel my arms, my legs, my body again. Finnick was kneeling by me, his arms reached under my head and over my shoulder, leaning me onto his lap.

"Hey, hey, you're fine, you're fine. You're okay..." he cooed gently.

"Wh... what happened?" My voice felt so weak.

"You walked straight into the barrier, and it basically stopped your heart," Katniss replied bluntly.

"Finnick here saved your life," Peeta added, sounding amazed.

I looked up at the bronze-haired man in astonishment. "What?" 

Why would he care to save my life? The job had already been done for him. He had the easy way out for a moment there. Getting rid of the loose end. Now he'd have to deal with the consequences of choosing Annie over me again.

He shifted his gaze away, unable to meet my eyes. "It was just CPR."

Judging from his abashed demeanor, I was guessing mouth-to-mouth was involved, but I didn't interrogate him any further. His decisions were none of my business. If he wanted complicated relationships, then so be it. That was his problem, not mine. The only thing that mattered to me was killing him, and I guess that option was still on the table.

It was getting late, and we were all exhausted from dehydration. I was still recovering from the shock of the force field, so we decided to stop here by the barrier of the arena for the rest of the night. Finnick offered to take first watch. 

"I'll take second." Their heads turned towards me in surprise.

Finnick refused, "You need more rest right now, Y/N. You can take the last watch."

I didn't want to raise any suspicions, so I sulked quietly about my failure to get the job done as soon as possible. Why did he have to care so much? He wouldn't choose me anyway, so my wellbeing shouldn't pose any importance to him. Why did he have to lead me on like this?

A twisting pain in my heart emerged as I wrestled with his actions and his words. Ironically, the fact that my heart had stopped momentarily just minutes ago didn't cause as much pain as the confusion that Finnick had placed me in.