Found My Sun

Part 1

Helena's POV:

The sound of the alarm wakes me up early in the morning. I could really use some sleep.I don't wanna wake up. But today isn't one of those days where I wake up at seven for work or studying.Today's different. I've got an audition for a role in the local theatre. It's been two weeks since I applied, well I did not exactly apply myself, my friend Leana just happened to be there while I was scrolling on my phone and found the article saying they needed a new actor, with or without experience.
She said
<<You gotta chase it, if you like it. You're talented, so go>>
I said no but of course she'd do it anyways if I wouldn't. You see, she really does believe in me and that's why I love that girl.

Opening the window, I look at the sun. Same, old sun. Used to be brighter once. Warmer. Prettier. Everything felt more beautiful when I was a kid.
Now it's like everything's typical. When you grow up and you become an adult you're supposed to be extra serious, less excited. You're not a kid anymore. You're entering "real life" which is nothing like your " imaginary world you made up when you were a kid ".
Does that even make sense?
It's not even fun.

ANYWAYS, I gotta rush. I really don't wanna be late. Oh my God! I gotta be there in twenty minutes and it's 15 km away. Well I guess I'll have to run to the station.

Thankfully the bus did arrive on time today. I was due to be there at ten but I'm already ten minutes late.

I hope they won't hate me. I hope they will give me a chance instead of getting mad at me for being late.

I don't really believe I can do this. I can't even order at a cafe without feeling embarrassed. But that's different! Right? I just gotta pretend! That's not difficult! Alright, I got it. Just breathe Helena, just breathe.

Well the mini encouraging self talk didn't really help if I'm being honest. No, Helena, no. Don't think this way! C'mon just go inside. You shouldn't be nervous. That girl you'll be playing in there has nothing to do with who you really are. They can't judge you. Or hate you. Well, typically they can. Gosh, I just want to leave. Maybe I should just leave. But I promised Leana I'd do this. She knows me too much, unfortunately.Okay just don't waste any more time.

I open the door. I feel everyone's gaze on me. Inside there are 20 actors for the same role I'm here for, God I'm so done! They're also 2 judges, a woman with grey hair, pretty , brown eyes, gold bracelets on her wrists and a heart necklace with a white chain. The man sitting next to her seems quite older, his gaze is soft yet serious. They seem to be a couple.

Some seconds pass and there's nothing but silence. I should say something.

<<Hello, I'm Helena Rosemary, I'm really sorry I was late.>>

<<Good morning Helena. It's quite alright but please try to be on time. You're the first to go. My name's Myra and I'm one of the judges. Nice to meet you.>> The old woman, Myra, said and extended her hand for a handshake.

<<It's nice to meet you too.>> I attempted a smile. My hands weren't so shaky while I did the handshake but afterwards I couldn't help it. I hope it's not visible. But maybe it is. Everyone's looking at me. Maybe they're thinking that I'm pathetic and weak, imagine being nervous for a role. Actors are supposed to never get nervous! Aren't they?!

Myra was holding a paper in her hands which I suppose was for me to read. I took it from her hands and she slightly smiled.

<<Take your time to read through it, Helena . Whenever you're ready, let us know. I'm Jack by the way.>> Said the other judge.

In the scene I was about to play, the woman was saying goodbye to her man. He had to leave for a war. They were in love. Didn't want to say goodbye. She wanted to go with him. Die, if he did.