The Light After The Storm | SUNSUN

Aftermath

As Sunoo woke up, a wave of pain surged through him, making him moan softly while his eyes stayed tightly shut. His head throbbed, and his body felt heavy, weighed down by an unsettling mix of exhaustion and discomfort. The immediate need to get up pressed on him; Sunjin might be awake and hungry, and Sunoo’s maternal instincts pushed him to check on his child.

When Sunoo finally dared to open his eyes, the sight that greeted him was both disorienting and distressing. He found himself sprawled across Sunghoon, their bodies entangled in an intimate embrace. Sunoo’s arms were wrapped around Sunghoon’s waist, his face resting against Sunghoon’s chest. The realization of their proximity struck him like a bolt of lightning. Panic surged through him, a primal fear that made his chest heave with rapid breaths. He had to get away—this was wrong, and he needed to distance himself immediately.

With a mix of urgency and clumsiness, Sunoo extricated himself from the tangle of limbs. His movements were hurried and frantic as he scrambled to his feet, stumbling slightly as he tried to put as much distance between himself and Sunghoon as possible. He glanced back briefly, his heart pounding, to see Sunghoon stirring awake, confusion etched across his features.

Sunghoon’s eyes fluttered open, and the initial confusion quickly gave way to concern as he took in Sunoo’s distressed form. Sunghoon’s face was a canvas of worry and hurt, his brow furrowed as he tried to process the situation. He sat up, his movements unsteady, and reached for his clothes scattered nearby. His hands trembled as he hurriedly dressed, the urgency of the situation making his fingers fumble with the buttons and fastenings.

Sunghoon opened his mouth to speak, but Sunoo’s rising panic cut him off. “Sun—”

“Go home,” Sunoo snapped, his voice cold and laced with a biting edge. The words felt foreign on his tongue, but they were driven by a deep, visceral need to push Sunghoon away.

“Sunoo—” Sunghoon began, his voice thick with sadness and confusion. His eyes pleaded for understanding, but the hurt in Sunoo’s gaze was unyielding.

“Leave!” Sunoo’s voice cracked with the weight of his emotions, his tone a sharp command that echoed through the room. “Just leave!”

Sunghoon flinched as if struck by the force of Sunoo’s words. He took a hesitant step back, his face a mask of anguish and disbelief. He wanted to explain, to make sense of what had happened, but the raw intensity of Sunoo’s anger made it clear that now was not the time. He gathered the last of his composure and quietly exited the room, leaving Sunoo alone with his turmoil.

Once Sunghoon had gone, Sunoo crumpled to the floor, his sobs erupting with a raw, unrestrained force. His emotions were a tangled mess of guilt, shame, and sorrow. The reality of what had happened settled heavily on his shoulders. He had crossed a line, a line that he could never undo. He had a boyfriend—Jake—who, despite being deceased, remained a cherished part of his heart. The love he had for Jake was something he could not ignore or erase, and the betrayal felt even more acute in light of that.

Sunoo’s mind raced with a relentless stream of thoughts. The alcohol had been a factor, yes, but he couldn’t allow himself to use it as an excuse. The fact that he had been unfaithful, even in such a moment of vulnerability, weighed heavily on him. The guilt was a crushing presence, a constant reminder of his actions. He had allowed himself to become entangled with someone else, and now the consequences were laid bare before him.

Tears streamed down Sunoo’s face, each sob a manifestation of his deep regret and anguish. His cries were a mixture of self-reproach and mourning for what he had lost. The reality of his actions gnawed at him, and he felt a profound sense of betrayal not only towards Jake but also towards himself. The room seemed to close in around him as he sat there, consumed by his grief. The pain of what had happened was immense, and all Sunoo could do was cry, letting the tears flow freely as he grappled with the weight of his mistakes and the deep, painful love he still held for Jake.

Sunoo stumbled into the bathroom, his vision blurred by tears. The sight in the mirror was a painful reminder of his transgression: red marks and bruises marred his skin, stretching from his neck to his chest. Each mark was a stark reminder of the intimacy he had shared with Sunghoon, a betrayal that weighed heavily on him. The shame of his actions felt like a physical weight, pressing down on him with every breath.

He felt filthy and sullied, as though he carried the burden of his infidelity on his very skin. I’m dirty, Sunoo thought, overwhelmed by guilt. I’ve hurt Jake—my alpha, my love. How could I have done this? Jake’s memory, combined with the intense remorse he felt, was a crushing load on Sunoo’s heart.

Determined to rid himself of the physical and emotional grime, Sunoo turned on the shower. The hot water pounded against his skin, and he stepped under the relentless spray, hoping it would cleanse him of his guilt. He scrubbed feverishly with a washcloth, using soap and shampoo as if they could wash away his sins. The more he scrubbed, the more he realized that no amount of physical cleansing could erase the deep emotional pain he felt.

After what felt like hours, Sunoo emerged from the shower, still wrapped in a heavy shroud of guilt and shame. He wrapped himself in a towel and, with unsteady steps, made his way to the bedroom. The apartment was quiet, the air thick with his unresolved turmoil.

In the dim light of the room, Sunoo saw Sunjin peacefully sleeping in their shared bed. The sight of his baby, serene and oblivious to the chaos that had consumed his father, struck Sunoo with a pang of sorrow. Sunjin’s small form was nestled under the covers, his soft breathing a stark contrast to the storm raging within Sunoo.

Sunoo carefully approached the bed, trying not to wake Sunjin. He sat down gently on the edge and reached out to his child. With tender hands, he lifted Sunjin and cradled him in his arms. The warmth and softness of Sunjin’s tiny body against his chest was both comforting and heartbreaking.

He held Sunjin close, tears streaming down his face as he whispered through his sobs, “Baby, Sunjin, I’m so sorry. I’m so dirty… I’m sorry I hurt your daddy. My love, please forgive me.” His voice was choked with emotion, each word punctuated by his deep, wrenching sobs.

The weight of his betrayal felt almost unbearable, and the guilt was suffocating. Sunoo’s thoughts were a chaotic mix of regret and longing, his heart aching with the realization of the pain he had caused. As he held Sunjin, the gentle rise and fall of his child’s breathing was a small comfort, but it did little to soothe the storm inside him.

Gradually, the exhaustion of the day and the emotional toll took over. Sunoo’s tears began to slow, his breathing growing more regular as he succumbed to fatigue. He lay down beside Sunjin, keeping his child close. As sleep finally claimed him, Sunoo remained curled around Sunjin, seeking solace in the quiet presence of his child. His dreams were troubled by guilt and regret, but the warmth of Sunjin’s small body offered a fragile comfort in the midst of his inner turmoil.