Valerie's Guide To Postponing a Breakup

Do Your Thing, Stress

I flick through the different movies on Netflix, making a mental list of ones I'll suggest to Leo once he arrives. I absentmindedly reach for the popcorn, my hands forming a fist when I remember that I've got to wait despite the snack's enticement.

But the popcorn's getting cold, and the smell is incredibly tempting!

My phone buzzes from where it is face down on the carpet beside me, and I snatch it up quickly, like it's a fifty-euro note I stumbled across on the pavement. My heart soars when I see it's a message from Leo, but it sinks again, my usual grin replaced by a frown as my eyes scan over his text.

Sorry, Val. I can't make it for a movie today. I'm feeling a bit under the weather. Maybe next time?

I blink at the screen, as if I can't believe it. He's never cancelled on me so abruptly. It's abnormal—and if he were too, usually he'd at least use some sort of emoji to apologise, childish as it is.

Sure. I type back slowly, letting out a dejected sigh through my nose.

I look at the popcorn. Look at my Netflix scene, which is fading in and out between the top ten movies of this week.

Deciding I don't want to spend my time alone with nothing but my pessimistic thoughts, I get an idea.

Want me to come over instead? I'll bring everything we need.

The next message from him drags my mood even further through the dirt.

Nope.

I place my phone back where it was, and I reach over, grabbing a handful of popcorn and cramming the entire thing into my mouth. Moisture gathers at the corners of my eyes, but I blink them away. If Leo isn't coming over, I can watch whatever the hell I want. I could even watch Peppa Pig and no one would care.

Well, I'm not going to, genius—it doesn't take aeons of scrolling to decide what I want to watch.

This calls for one thing, and one thing only, which is an intense Alexa and Katie marathon.

That show came out when I was sixteen, and since then, I have watched all four seasons five times. I only watch this series nowadays when my life feels a bit more daunting than usual and I need something to make me feel better, because with the generic efforts of life, there simply isn't time.

But it's summer, I have no company, and most importantly, it's a good way to distract myself from the truth.

What is the truth?

When the world's gone mad and good's gone bad, you're never really sure.

___

With the theme song of Alexa and Katie still ringing in my ears, I head upstairs, letting my legs go on autopilot and take me to the place they know best: my bed.

Blowing out my breath, I sit down on my bed, but I'm only upright for a second before I flop down onto my bed, staring at the ceiling.

Just the same bland magnolia walls.

And my bland magnolia life.

I roll over in bed, lunging for my nightstand drawer, pulling out the thing I know I need right now. I lie flat on my back in bed, and I open up the photo album Leo got me for my eighteenth birthday. He also got me chocolates and this strange multi-coloured jumper that unravelled until it was just an unidentifiable heap of wool—but the photo album has always been my favourite. Because it has pictures of us. Pictures of the happiest years and the happiest memories of my life.