Restored

~6~

TW-Throwing up

Leaves fell on the roof outside my window as I read my book, I had started a new book series recently, and I was very invested. Mochi lay on my lap, purring in her sleep as I rested my hand on her back. I picked up my phone and saw the time was already 5:30, meaning the sun would be setting soon. I moved mochi off my lap, trying not to wake her as I stood. After grabbing a hoodie and my headphones, I opened my window and climbed out onto the roof, closing the window behind me. I put my hoodie on, connected my headphones to my phone, and watched as the sky melted into a breathtaking rose,orange and purple. I always loved watching sunsets, I believe the prettier they are, the kinder people become. I know it was a dumb idea, but it's always been a belief.

I sat for almost an hour watching the sun slowly sink into the horizon line before I climbed into through my window again and sitting back on my bay window with such smooth cushions. I checked my phone and saw I had a text from an unknown number just minutes ago. I opened it to see it was an attached image, I opened it, and immediately, my heart sank.

It was a photo of me as i was walking under the staircase with Zach, but there were lines all over, editing calling me a slut and a whore. I was in my tank top, so my arms and some back were visible. Bold words in red, calling me a fat pig, whale, everything you could think of. I sat staring, tears welling in my eyes. What did I ever do to these people? Do I really look how I do in that picture? They are right. I cried, no, not cried, sobbed. I curled into a ball, hands held tightly over my stomach. I bawled and bawled. I couldn't stand the look of myself. I didn't know what to do with myself. I had shut my phone off, not wanting to see myself anymore.

I don't know how much time past of me just crying. Mochi had come to lay beside me, assuming because she was confused.

My phone lit up, I wiped my face, and saw the notification was from the same number. I hesitated before opening the notification, it was two simple words.

'I'm sorry'

▪︎Time skip▪︎

"You're not eating your food honey, is something wrong?" My mom asked as she placed her fork beside her empty plate.

"Yeah... I'm just not really hungry. I got a lot of macdonalds today before Zach rode me home. Sorry, I should've told you." I said, looking down at my plate, just the look of the greasy beef, the dressed salad, the pily potatoes. I couldn't handle it.

"I'll be right back, just gonna go to the bathroom, I love you." I said as I stood up and went into our downstairs bathroom just behind the kitchen. Looking at that food, imagining eating it, the feeling of a full stomach consumed me. I hated it. I shut the door to the bathroom and I fell to the floor in front of the toilet. I didn't want to throw up, but I knew it was for the better. I leaned over the toilet, the smells of cleaning supplies invaded my nose, and before I knew it, everything I had eaten today was in front of me. I stood and flushed the toilet. As I wiped my mouth at the sink, I stared at myself in the mirror. My once smoothe rosey lips now chapped, i felt disappointed in myself, how I couldn't just deal with my problems like a normal person should. Instead, I whine and cry about every little thing. I hated how pathetic I was. I hated the way I was.

I sat back at the dinner table and told my mom a brief summary about how today was, how the ride on Zachs motorcycle was, all the good stuff.

I headed upstairs after saying goodnight, and I love you to my mom, I never leave her without reminding her how much I love her. I changed into my sweat-shorts and a huge t-shirt. I didn't feel like seeing myself for any longer today. I lay in my bed on my phone. I texted the unknown number.

'Who is this?' I texted, wanting to know what is happening? Why are they sorry?
Unknown number opened the message and started typing immediately

'I'm Theo, I sit beside you in math. I just wanted to make sure you knew what was going on. These were made by Sophie Mason and Jackie Henderson."

I stared at my phone, and I didn't know what to say.

"Oh, thanks for letting me know :)" I said, glad I wasn't about to be sent horrendous photos of me as a form of bullying, just as a little update every once in a while.

I started to feel my eyes grow heavy, but I didn't want to sleep yet. I noticed Zach had snapped around 3 minutes ago, I opened snapchat to see an over the shoulder picture, which included a very prominent collar bone and shoulder muscle, I simply snapped back a picture of the foot of my bed.

-Zach😊--How ya doingg?

I smiled

-Me--Great, thanks. Hbu?

-Zach😊--Same, how were the nuggets?

-Me--Delicious, thank you :)

He sent a snap of the side of his face, smiling. I wiped my face of tears and sent a similar snap in return.

I placed my phone down and stared at the ceiling. Feeling the weight of my body pulling me down onto the bed, pressing against the mattress. I felt uncomfortable, so I stood and did one thing I had been dreading. I walked into the bathroom and opened the cabinet under the sink. Under all the pipes, I saw a scale. I pulled it out and placed batteries into the back. I placed it on the floor and pressed the ON button. I stood right beside the scale. I stared and stared for what felt like hours before placing my left foot on the left side, then right foot on the right side. I looked at the wall in front of me, not wanting to see the number. It had all been mucle memory, getting the scale out, stepping on. I didn't want to anymore. I stepped off the scale and closed my eyes as I pressed the OFF button and placed it back under the sink. I felt relieved I was able to stop before I destroyed myself any further, with a huge breath, I returned back to my bed to see my phone had 3 new notifications.

Zach😊 replayed a snap

Zach😊 saved a snap in chat

Zach😊 sent a chat

I quickly opened my phone to see what he had saved. Was it an ugly? What did I last send? I panicked as I opened that yellow app, but once I opened the conversation, I let out a sigh of relief. He had saved the snap of me smiling and replied to it. I stared at the one word, the one word that had my stomach flipping, my lips smiling, my feet kicking.

'Pretty'

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That was a coo coo one

1235 words

Byee🤍