I always wish one thing and one thing only.
Bawat gabi, kapag marami akong nakikitang stars sa langit, I'll clasp my hands and pray that God will give it to me. Swerte na lang kung may mga falling stars akong madadatnan.
I just want it to happen. I hope God make it happen.
Gusto ko rin maranasan iyon. To have friends. To meet strangers. To be acknowledged of my own strengths and efforts. Gusto ko yung nagigisa ako, yung tipong mape-pressure ako. I wish I could go beyond my stage fright. O kung pwede ay maranasan ko rin na umuwi ng late sa gabi because of practice or something.
But my mamá wished otherwise. She believed that home school is better. Since I was young, I've been homeschooled. My classroom was the four corners of my room. If not in my room, the cold marble floor of our sala was my friend. My playground was also our frontyard and our backyard. And my classmates would only be the yayas and guards around.
While I'm thankful to my teachers all throughout my school years. I wish it could be different this time.
I woke up from a knock from my door. Umupo ako, yawning. I stretch my arms.
"Good morning, sir. Nasa baba na po si ma'am Agnes. Tinatawag po kayo para magbreakfast," wika ni Yna, isa sa mga yaya namin.
Natigilan ako sa ginagawa ko. Mamá's here? Mabilis akong tumayo at tumungo sa pinto. Nagulat pa si Yna na nag-aambang kumatok ulit.
"OMG, Yna!" tili ko sa kanya. She grimaced, putting a finger in her ear.
"Aray ko, sir, ha!"
"Baka heto na yung chance na hinihintay ko," sabi ko, dali-daling lumabas at tinakbo ang hallway.
Rinig ko ang pagpipigil niya sa aking tumakbo dahil baka madulas ako. But I don't care. I only hope that my wish could be granted right now. Kahit heto na lang yung gift niya sa akin.
I haven't seen mamá for two weeks. Kakauwi lang niya from a business trip abroad. Last week was my homeschooled high school graduation. And I'm so ready for college.
Nang makita ko siya sa usual seat niya, I smiled and greeted her. Tumingala siya sa akin at ngumiti.
"Hello, my dear Gabrielle. Good morning, hijo. Come and join me."
Umupo ako sa upuang nasa gilid niya. A maid came up to me and gave me a cup of hot chocolate.
"How are you? I heard from Tindeng that you were already done with school."
I wore a big smile. My fingers started giddying up with each other. May gusto akong banggitin niya. I hope sabihin mo na, mamá.
Please, please, please.
"Yes po, mamá. Sad lang po because you're not there that time," I pouted. I stopped my fingers. I need to act calm para hindi niya makita na I'm giddy to what she's going to say.
She smiled sadly, "I'm sorry, anak. I wish I could postpose it but it's your father's business. I hope I could make it up to you."
Oh my gosh! This is it. Say it, mamá. Say it!!! Halos mapisi ang hawak kong kutsara sa higpit ko rito.
Umiling siya. Ngumiti at nginuso ang pagkakahawak ko sa kutsara.
Ay, hala! Napansin niya pala. Ngumuso ako at nahihiyang nag-iwas ng tingin.
"Okay, anak," natatawa niyang sambit. "Fine, what do you want as a gift? That'll be my reward for you."
Halos manlaki ang mga mata ko! OMG, this is it! Pero dapat kalmado lang. And I have to make sure kung papayag si mama.
