the man with luminous eyes

16.

"What do you mean you're moving?"

Eddy gripped the fabric on his pants. "It just... happened. There's a better offer in the SSO right now. My professor had recommended me and... I guess they want me by next month."

Brett set his drink down onto his coffee table and faced him. "Sydney... that's so far away."

"I know."

Brett's mind raced as he tried to process what Eddy had just said. The thought of Eddy moving to Sydney, of him being so far away, felt like a punch to the gut. And yet... goodness, the Sydney Symphony Orchestra. Brett couldn't help but feel conflicted. He couldn't imagine what it must be like for Eddy.

The younger man looked dejected. The inner turmoil between staying here with friends and family clashed with his musician dream, and Brett could see it. Eddy's eyes reflected that, jumping back and forth between his shaky hands and the floor.

"That's why," Eddy reached over and placed a hand on Brett's-- it was much more confidently placed than the many times he's done this before, and Brett's eyes softened when he noticed it. "I came here to ask you if... if you think I should go."

Brett lifted his chin, surprised. "What... ask me? What do you mean?"

"I won't go if you don't want me to," Eddy said. Brett's jaw slacked.

"You're... you're joking. You realize what you're giving up?" Brett moved his hand onto Eddy's. "The Sydney Symphony Orchestra, Eddy. That's... That's big."

Eddy's eyes flickered. Brett furrowed his brows as he looked away. Eddy's eyes followed him.

"So you think I should go?"

Brett hesitated to respond. Desperately, he tried to say something. Something that would give both of them satisfaction. A happy ending.

But... nothing. His lips quivered at his loss for words.

Eddy's hand tightened around Brett's, sensing the internal struggle that Brett was going through. The room was thick with the tension, the weight of the decision pressing down on both of them.

Suddenly, Brett was reminded of why he had invited Eddy over to his house in the first place. Why they were sitting here at 9:00 PM, sipping whiskey on his couch. Why they were having this conversation.

Why was Brett hesitating so hard on a question with such an easy answer? This was the SSO they were talking about. It was a place Brett could never reach, but Eddy would be able to do so much more with himself. If Eddy's happiness meant sacrificing his, he'd be ok with it.

He'll be ok. He needs to do what's right.

That's what you're supposed to do for the people you love, isn't it?

Brett took a deep breath, the reality of the situation sinking in. This was the Sydney Symphony Orchestra—an opportunity that could change Eddy's life. Brett couldn't let himself be the reason why he missed this. That'd be cruel.

He squeezed Eddy's hand, searching for the right words. "Eddy, you have to go," he said softly, his voice steady despite the turmoil inside him. "This is... This is the biggest offer you'll ever get as a university student. You can't let this slip away."

Eddy's face fell, his eyes dropping to the floor. Brett could see the disappointment in his expression, the silent plea that he didn't want to voice. But Brett pressed on, knowing that this was the right thing to do, even if it hurt. God, how much it hurt.

When Eddy finally looked up, his eyes were glassy, filled with a mixture of emotions that Brett couldn't read. "I understand," he murmured, his voice thick with something Brett couldn't quite place. "Yeah... mhm."

"You'll do great things. Be able to do so much more. Live your dream and... and do music," Brett choked out the words. His heart ached, but he needed to spit out the words to let them sink in. "And-- And because you're still a student--"

"Ok, Brett," Eddy stopped him. He pursed his lips tight. "I understand."

The tight smile he showed him almost shattered Brett's resolve. He swallowed the overwhelming lump in his throat.

"Thanks," Eddy muttered, though his voice felt like more of a dam holding back an ocean of feelings that would drown Brett if he wasn't careful enough. "Can I spend the night? Don't really feel like being alone."

"Yeah.... Yeah, of course."

The air between them felt thick with the tension of unsaid words. Brett struggled to break the silence. His chest hurt too much to speak.

Eddy stood before Brett could speak, could call to him and cry into his chest that he wanted more than anything for him to stay. Eddy looked... well, Brett wasn't sure. His eyes, those gorgeous eyes, those beautiful orbs, were missing their usual glow— a more terrifying sight than Brett could ever imagine. Eddy looked like he was struggling to breathe.

"More whiskey?"

Brett lifted his chin, nodding with a forced, but faint, smile. "Yeah. More whiskey."