On Broken Wings

Chapter 20

Lucifer

The forest was silent around me. Not even the tree limbs dared to move, all wildlife having disappeared flawlessly to safer grounds. I collapsed against a tree, trying to think around the agonizing pain that took over my body. It began from my throat, the stinging, white-hot ache—the exact spot where Satan's killing wound had been—and traveled down to take over the rest of my limbs.

Indeed, killing him, a piece of my soul, had reduced my power into something frail, shaky, uncertain. I thought what would happen to me if I killed all of them, the remaining five parts of my soul. I do not think I could do that to them. Poor, shy Leviathan, the clingy sin of envy, the drowsy Belphor who helped me sleep when nightmares kept me awake, Beelzebub and her constant pushing for me to eat more, for me to join her at the dinner table. Even Mammon, who had joined Satan. His greed for knowledge and excited voice as he told me all the interesting information he had read up on. Asmodeus, sly and shapeshifting, who had accompanied me everywhere I went, making jokes along the way.

Parts of me, I realized, were in each of them. The parts that I hated, so I had cut them from myself and made them into their own people. People that I had loved and cherished and cared for, people that I had spent nearly a century with. They were me.

Gritting my teeth, I willed myself to not lose conciseness. Not here, not without Cassius next to me, ready to greet me in the next life with open arms. I would throw myself into him and never let go for as long as our souls existed in the plain of the afterlife. And he would smile, his dimples growing deep, his eyes lighting up. He would kiss my forehead and bring me in close. His skin would no longer be pallid but a healthy, glowing brown, his hair shining and bouncing with curls. His voice, how I missed it already, would call my name lovingly as he always did.

A weak smile curled my lips. In such a short time I had become enamored with him. Within a few months he was already worth more than anything I owned. Worth more to me than my own life.

Cassius.

I had to get back to him. I must. But the pain held me back, made me unable to control my body. I shivered though it was not cold. My eyelids grew heavy. Too heavy for me to hold up. I could hear my own slowed breathing in my ears.

Sunlight filtered through the trees above me. It danced on the ground with the wind shifting the leaves. Birds were beginning to return, bringing with them their sweet chirping. Something rustled in the bush behind me. A rabbit, perhaps, or a fox.

The world began to darken in the corner of my vision, fuzzy and warm. I let myself fall into its embrace, hoping that Cassius would be there when I next opened my eyes.

***

He stood with his back to a golden light, silhouette dark and strong. His face was fuzzy and obscured by the glow, yet my memory served me well; I could see him perfectly in my mind. He wore long robes of white, the light layers fluttering before him as a soft breeze rustled out from somewhere. Thick bands of gold decorated his upper arms, and loose bangles looped around his ankles. He looked as beautiful as the day I found him. As beautiful as when I lost him. When he spoke, I could imagine a sad smile on his face from his voice alone.

"You are not supposed to be here this soon."

I looked down at my hands. Dried blood still caked beneath my fingernails and stuck to my flesh like a second skin. It seems I have not fully made it to him yet, or else my body would be clean of its mortal dirt. I was on my knees, kneeling before him on an empty plane of nothing. The ground beneath my knees was soft, yet sturdy, and held no texture I recognized. It was both opaque and translucent simultaneously, reminding me of flat clouds after a rainstorm.