On Broken Wings

Chapter 4

Lucifer

When I say my heart froze when I saw the broken body of Cassius sprawled on the forest floor, laden heavily with wounds and dirt. How my heart burned with rage upon the sighting of Satan, grinning with delight and malice as the angel writhed beneath him. The way fury overtook me so greatly I could not utter a single shout; my voice was cold, reminding me of how this came to be.

His body was light as I rushed him to the sick rooms, limbs flopping helplessly with dead weight. His skin was alight with fever and infections, yet he shivered and whimpered when I drew the sheets back.

I was terrified of losing him, as I am with every Fallen, but this time was different. We've had angels wander out of our boundaries on accident, and we've always been able to catch them before things got difficult. Encounters with those six had always been rough, but not to this extent.

Never to this extent.

His mind, filled with sickness, rambled in his uneasy sleep. I did my best to sooth him, praying to the stars he would make it through the night. Many sleepless days were spent by his side, the seconds dragging by; the hours blending in a blur. How relieved I was upon seeing Cassius standing on his own, gazing out the window in awe, his previously burning skin now alight with life and health.

"Here is your room," I said, turning to Cassius. "Servants have placed a change of clothes, so please, feel free to them. I will show you the baths after breakfast tomorrow."

"Thank you," Cassius said, pulling aside the curtain on the doorway. "You have done so much for me already. There must be some way to return my gratitude."

My gut twisted. "Then get some rest. That is all I deserve."

"Is there nothing I can do? Not even in the village? And when will I find permanent housing there?" Cassius covered his mouth, embarrassed. "Apologizes. There is still so much I do not know yet."

I nodded, understanding. Many have come in his place before, all of them holding the same questions.

"That is reasonable. Though, it is late, and I fear you may fall asleep during my dry explanations." Cassius pursed his lips in attempt of hiding his smile, but that did not stop his dimples from showing through.

"Then, tomorrow," he confirmed.

"Yes. I wish you a good night's sleep, Cassius."

"Same to you, Lucifer." Then he ducked under the curtain and was gone, leaving me to revere on how easily my name slipped from his tongue.

You are not worthy of this. You do not have the right to feel this way.

I know. I do not deserve his smile. Not after what I had done to him, to everyone living in Eden. Not after all the sorrow and pain I created as a sickening side effect of my selfish choices.

You are a sin. You do not have the right to feel this way. Not after everything.

You are not worthy of anything.

"I know." My throat ached. After all this time, nothing had changed except the world around me. Even the stars burned out, the moon's phases, the variations of the sun. I was drowning in it all, silently. I have not suffered enough to pay my dues, and karma knows this. She will suck my being dry until my bones remain, and I am sleeping in the earth's embrace.

Just like the many nights before and many nights ahead, the moon's lonely glow kept me company, falling through the window and nestling in the same spaces. This much, at least, has stayed the same.