Like the Sun

Prologue

"So I can't... see Daddy anymore?" I ask, holding my mommy's hand tighter as she takes me from the dark building.

Her head is down and she stops walking, turning to me and sinking to her knees. She wraps her arms around me tightly, "No..." she's crying, "I'm sorry, Kaveh."

There's a lump in my throat, I hug her back.

"What do you want for dinner tonight, sweetheart?" Mommy asks later that night, she's smiling but it doesn't look right. Her eyes are puffy and watery, and her smile seems too wide.

I look up from my drawing, I was making a flower for Mommy. I shrug, "Whatever you want!"

She nods and looks through the cabinets picking out various ingredients, she takes out a bottle of... juice? She fills her cup with it. I finished the flower, I made it pink! I hope this cheers her up.

"Mommy?" I ask, standing up and picking up the paper.

She wipes her eyes and looks at me, "Mhm?"

I hand her the paper, "I made you a flower!" I smile as she takes it.

She smiles and looks at the paper, "It's a beautiful flower, thank you, Kaveh." 

"Yeah!" I say, smiling a little wider.

She kneels and fingers through my hair, "Why don't you wait in your room? Mommy will let you know when dinner is ready." She whispers.

I nod, "Okay! Thank you!" 

She stands back up and I walk into my room, turn on the light, and sit on the floor. I look at my toys, picking up a few of them to play with.

"Dinner!" Mommy opens my door and motions me to come eat.

I stand up quickly, "Yummy!"

At the table, Mommy pours herself another glass of that juice, "Mommy?"

She puts the bottle down and takes a sip, "Yeah?"

"What is that?" I say with my mouthful, pointing to the drink.

She looks at the glass for a moment then back at me, "It's uh... Juice but for adults, it's not good for you."

"Oh..." My eyebrows furrow slightly, "Why are you drinking it if it's not good for you?" 

"Well..." She sort of freezes for a second, "I'll be okay, don't worry."

-

I wish I had understood everything more when I was a kid, like how my dad was really never coming back. I wish I had stopped my mom from drinking, it's been a few years and everything seemed to have gotten worse. Mom stays in her room most of the time, that started a little after Dad died. She's a sweet mom when she isn't drunk. 

I look at my phone turn the music on, put my earbuds in, and get on the bus.

Mom got me this phone a year ago for my thirteenth birthday, I was a little surprised since I hadn't asked for one, so I guess I just hit that age. I'll be going to high school next year, my mom said she'd start working on herself before then. I'm social but I don't have any best friends, I've never dated anyone either.

Nilou sits next to me, she's on the dance team and one of my friends. "Hi, Kaveh!"

"Hey!" I say and smile at her, taking out a headphone in case she starts a conversation with me.

Nilou turns away from me and starts talking to a group of her friends, I pick up my phone and open a random app.

My grades aren't bad, but it's not like they're amazing. I'm in the art club, I think it's fun to draw in my free time. I hope high school is different, to say I wasn't nervous would be a lie, but I feel like my life will start to change.