Then There Was You

Chapter 16: Anguish

"Theo, it's alright, kid. You're gonna be okay," Dr. Sawyer said in his usual straightforward tone.

   To Theo, the sounds seemed like jumbled letters, noises muddled by the loud thumping of his heart. His body was stiff as they pushed him down the bright corridor. In an attempt to situate himself, he tried to turn his head and immediately gasped in pain, holding back the guttural scream that would surely make the pain in his back ten times worse. It all happened so suddenly. He'd felt pain since the accident, but nothing like this. No, right now, he wanted to shove his hand into his back and rip his spine clean off. The night of the crash, he'd been spared the agony; now he wished he'd gone through it then.

   As a new wave of pain began, Theo tightened his fists and inhaled shaky, shallow breaths. A single tear made its way down his cheek just as the movement stopped. He didn't dare look around, only stared up at the bright light shining above him.

Maybe this time, that's where he was headed... for good.

Chatter was going on around him, but he wasn't listening, focusing solely on not making it worse.

"We're going to prep you for surgery now, Theo," Dr. Sawyer said as he appeared in Theo's line of vision.

His vision blurred by tears, Theo pleaded before the words even left his mouth.

"Make it stop. Please," he whispered, as if trying not to anger the monster clawing at his nerves.

Dr. Sawyer's brows furrowed in sympathy. When he reached for Theo's hand, the only indicator was the warmth of his palm on Theo's skin.

"10 CCs of morphine," the man spoke to the nurse behind him.

A couple of minutes passed before the beeping machine slowed its tune, switching to a rhythmic lullaby. Something was happening; Theo could feel it. He inhaled deeply, hesitating to draw the air in. When it left his lungs, he felt light, as if the pain too was exiting his body.

Staring up ahead, the bright glow was even brighter as his lids grew heavy. But just as they were about to close, he saw her face.

Immediately, his heart rate picked up as he fought this losing battle. She was here.

   Delilah stood beside Theo, watching as his eyes disappeared under his lids. He frowned at something much too incoherent for her to make out. Feeling the urge to reassure him, she took hold of his hand, running soothing lines on his palm until the beeps of the machine steadied.

"Sweetheart," Mrs. Robenson's soothing voice drew Delilah back to reality.

   Delilah gazed around the room at the medical staff staring at her with sympathetic eyes. It was then she realized she'd been crying. She turned to Kristen, the woman offering her a kind smile before she spoke.

"They're going to prep him for the OR now," Kristen said, placing her hands on Delilah's shoulder and guiding her out of the room.

   Outside, Josh and Patrick stood by. They both seemed pensive as Theo was strolled out of the room toward the end of the hall, where an elevator would take them to the third floor for surgery. Delilah hated that it felt like she was saying goodbye. Shaking her head, she pushed away the thought. He would be fine; she knew she had to believe it, put her faith to work as her mother often told her when she worried too much. The door closed as she smiled faintly, claiming this victory. Just as quickly as the bad thought left her, another one crept up. Theo might make it out alive, but this surgery would change him forever. Given how bad things already were, no matter how the pendulum swung, Theo's life would never be the same.

   Delilah let out a shuddering breath, aiming to contain her emotions and keep her mind on the good. But when she turned around, the last of her resolve broke when she noticed Kristen crying into Patrick's chest, her silent sobs shaking her body.

   She swallowed hard and looked away, her gaze landing on the waiting area. She felt the chairs calling her name. Weighed down by her guilt, she took a seat on the hard cushion, if she could call it that.

Josh joined her soon thereafter.

   Stealing glances at him, her heart ached seeing the frown on his face. Almost nothing could wipe that man's smile off. If she wasn't sure how serious this was before, now she knew.

A few minutes passed before Josh broke the silence with a sad little laugh.

"You know," he began, waiting for her to look at him before continuing, "I've tried to imagine what would've happened that night if you weren't there, you know."

Delilah's head tilted as her face fell. She knew the look in his eyes. It was the same way Mrs. Robenson looked at her.

Gratitude.

Her throat tightened as her stomach turned. Would she have the guts to rectify things this time?

   Before she could even decide to keep her mouth shut once again, Josh continued. This time, the smile was back, but his eyes were glazed with tears, the two emotions conflicting with each other yet somehow both belonging in that moment.

"I lost my mom very young; I couldn't afford to lose him too. And I never got to thank you. So, thank you, Lilah, for saving his life. He's not out of the woods yet, but the worst is behind him," Josh said in a single breath.

At the end, he took in one deep lung-filling breath and then let it out. His composure was back, meanwhile Delilah was about to crumble under the weight of her secrets.

   She should tell him the truth. She wasn't the hero he thought she was. If it wasn't for her trying to look cool for Caleb and his gang of dimwitted assholes, there wouldn't have been an accident. But she was shallow and stupid, and then she lied, and her lies made Theo carry the brunt of responsibility for what happened. That secret might kill her slowly until it was let free. She would eventually, if not of her own volition, the truth would find its way out. Thus was life. Ready or not, she would have to face her sentence. For now though, she took hold of Josh's hand and squeezed it tightly.

"He's going to be okay," she croaked, her throat so tight the words came out stifled.

   Josh gave her a thankful smile. Kristen and Patrick joined them soon thereafter, and in silence, they waited, prayed, and hoped, not knowing that among them, a traitor yearned to be redeemed.

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