Bioshock JOKES (FanFic)

part 1 -Bioshock

1 Bad Hair days

When Frank Fontaine came to the orphanage to see the little sisters,
a Little sister jumped onto Franks lap and stared at his bald head.

"Oh Franky." She moaned. "The splicers took your hair!"

2

Five-year-old Eleanor was sitting at the Dining table with her parents. (Subject Delta & Sofia Lamb)
She patted her own head and said, "Hair, hair." She reached up and patted Sofia Lambs head. "Hair, hair."
Then she patted Subject Delta's helmet and said, "Uh-Oh."

3

Brigid Tenenbaum was combing out the tangles in one of the 4-Year-old Little Sisters hair.
"Ouch Mommy!" She said. "I've got wrinkles in my hair!"

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
2 Mind your manners

(Little sisters)

Kayla, eight, was trying to teach her sister Haley, four, how to curtsy.
As Kayla demonstrated, Haley asked in amazement,
"Who taught you how to curtsy?" Kayla replied,
"Brigid did."
"But who taught Tenenbaum how to curtsy?" Haley persisted.
"Her aunt and mother did." Kayla said.
"Well who taught them how to curtsy?"
Exasperated, Kayla blurted out, "Mr.Bubbles!"

2

A four-year-old sister and her younger sisters were in their family room,
Jumping from the dead splicer to the bloody puddle. Their daddy told them
(Bouncer), "Stop that! You could get hurt." As the other big daddies listened
From the kitchen, they heard their little sister proclaim in her preschool,
Know-it-all voice, "Come on sisters, let's jump. Mr.Bubbles doesn't spank
That hard."

3

At Andrew Ryans house, its a family rule to ask to be excused from the dining
Table before getting up. When Andrew's son (Jack) asked Atlas for permission
To leave the table. Atlas was involved in ADAM conversation and didn't hear the
Request. A little impatiently, Jack asked again. Atlas still did not hear. A third time.
Still no response. In exasperation he looked torward in heaven and said "Little sisters
Angels, May I please be excused?"

4

Eleanor, Seven, was trying to master eating spaghetti with
a fork instead of with Her fingers.
"You need to eat like a lady." Sofia Lamb insisted.
"Someday you may eat dinner with Andrew Ryan,
Frank Fontaine, or some kind of great ruler."
Eleanor sighed. "Id rather eat with Delta."

5

It was bedtime and Eleven-year-old Little sister (Sunshine) complained that she wasn't ready to go to sleep.
Brigid Tenenbaum explained that when SunShine was born, The Angels gave her the job of taking care of her,
Making sure she ate right and got enough sleep to stay healthy. "I'm not trying to be mean." Brigid
Assured her, "but this is the job that the angels gave me." SunShine declared, "Then you're Fired!"

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

(Last one)

"What's your new Doggies name?"

Doctor Suchong asked Five-year-old Jack.

"Molly." Jack replied. With him petting Molly
While Molly is sleeping in a basket.

"Do you know what kind of dog Molly is?"

"Oh, yes!" Jack assured Suchong. "A basket hound."

-The End of part one.-