Mallory Academy

Mallory : 34

🎭 JASMINE

“Sa 28 na ang debut mo. What's your plans? I haven't heard anything from Tita.”

Mikha took a sip from her juice when she asked Jamaica that question. Nandito kami ngayon sa House 001. We will try to patch things up bago pa man tuluyang masira ang pagkakaibigan namin.

Alam kong hindi lang ako ang nakaramdam na may tinatago sa amin itong mga na sa House 001. They're awkward! Hindi na rin sila masyadong nagpapansinan, unlike before. They always stick together that's why it's easy to tell something terrible happened.

“You know Mom, Mikhs, wala namang pake 'yun,” there's a hint of sadness in Jamaica's voice. I'm not used to it. Palagi kasi ay lutang siya. At ngayong papalapit na ang birthday niya, I noticed she became quiet.

Today is December 26. Two days before Jamaica's birthday. She once told me that she has family issues. Na si Mikha lang daw ang kakampi niya sa pamilya nila. I'm glad to hear that, though. At least nariyan pa rin si Mikha sa kaniya.

“But it's your special day, Maica,” Mikha's forehead creased. “I'll talk to Tita later.”

Umiling si Jamaica. “Huwag na.”

Silence enveloped us. It was an awkward silence. Hindi kami makatingin sa isa't isa. It felt deja vu. The last time we were like this, the outcome was not good. Nag-away lang kami. Natatakot tuloy ako.

Bawat isa sa amin ay parang isang ticking bomb. Biglang sasabog na lang kapag may maling masabi ang isa sa amin, o maling galaw man lang. That's why I'm being careful with my choice of words and my actions. I don't want to provoke them.

We were not harmed for the past weeks. Masaya, oo, dahil walang nasasaktan sa amin. Pero hindi ako makampanti. Why do I feel like something big will happen? Na parang pinagpapahinga na muna nila kami ngayon pero may pinaplano na pala sila sa amin. Are they going to wiped us out?

I couldn't help but to overthink. Kung nakakalunod lang ang pag o-overthink, matagal na kong nalunod at namatay. There are so many what ifs inside my head.

What if we will not be able to graduate anymore? What if one of my friends is a killer? Or two. What if I will be seventeen forever? What if I couldn't see sunrise and catch sunsets anymore? What if we're all going to die? What if everything will remain mystery to everyone? What if we couldn't figure out who are the killers? If that so, that will permit them to kill us behind our backs.

And most of all. What if I couldn't see and hear my upcoming sister's first cry, first word, and first walk  anymore? I was an only child. It was my ultimate wish to have a sibling. I was longing for a sibling's love for so long. I feel empty even though I have plenty of toys growing up. Watching my friends who grew up with a sibling made me envious. And when I learned that my Mom is expecting a new baby, I was over the moon, though we have seventeen years gap.

I want to be there on her firsts.

“I thought we're going to patch things up? Why are you guys so quiet?” April broke the ice of silence, laughing nervously and awkwardly. Tinapunan lang naman siya ng tingin ng mga kaibigan natin. “Come on, guys.”

“The cut had gone deeper, April, it will not heal anymore,” malamig na tugon ni Anya. “We cannot fix this friendship anymore.”