ALMOST THERE

CHAPTER 10: "As a friend"

Banjaara - Mohammed Irfan
🦢🪞💌🕯️

"I'm fine," I repeated for the thirteenth time that day. My voice coming out muffled as I sat with my head buried in my arms on the hard wooden desk. My sleeves were probably wet, but whether from the humidity or pent-up grief, I couldn’t tell.

Raising one hand, I gestured to brush it off, the cool wind from the ceiling fan sending refreshing impulses down my sensory nerves as they hit my sweaty palm.

Another hand caught mine mid-air and gently lowered it back to the desk, where it stayed on mine, holding it in an almost protective embrace.

"No, you aren't." I wasn't sure if it was the huskiness in his voice or the touch of his hand that made me feel dizzy and tipsy and... ugh.

"I said, I. AM. FINE." I gritted my teeth, pausing between words to sound intimidating, hoping he'd stop pestering me.

"Look at me." His tone was authoritative yet impossibly affectionate, making my inner submissive instincts want to show their colors.

Much for intimidation.

With a sigh, I lifted my head, which felt heavy for no reason, to meet Shahaan's deep brown eyes staring into mine with an intensity I couldn't quite put into words. His thumb brushed my knuckles as he sat there, on the bench opposite me, casting a look that might seem nonchalant to others but held an underlying concern only I could sense.

Concern that was probably meant just for me.

Too much imagination, Saysha.

I opened my mouth to say I was fine, again, before one of his dark eyebrows arched up and he cut me off. "If you utter the words 'I'm fine' one more time, it won't be good for you." His gaze wandered over my face. "You're anything but fine."

I hated how he could see right through me. Through my carefully built walls, like it was a piece of cake.

My eyes dropped from his to the rest of him. A familiar shade of midnight blue fabric hugged his built torso, as his elbows rested on the desk, one of his hands still covering mine. How had I not noticed he wasn't in his school uniform and was instead wearing the very jersey that made me weak in my knees? Right, he’d been on the court all day, practicing for the interschool basketball tournament.

HE WAS A PRODIGY.

I sighed at my inability to remember little things. I guess that's what a good amount of yelling and beating does to you. A shiver ran through my senses as the memory flashed before my eyes, but I quickly shoved it down in the little box at the deepest corner of my mind.

'You are indeed good for nothing.'

'I wish I'd been childless than have a child like you!'

Another blow, another scar on my evergreen memory.

Red. Blue. Black.
Painful. Miserable. Pathetic.

All of that for what? A math test?
God knows how long that box could fit it all.

"Look at you. You haven't been sleeping. And let me guess, you didn't eat today either?"

I shook my head slightly, my hinges refusing to move an inch. That only made him more restless. His hand squeezed mine as he leaned in. "You can't torture yourself like this, Sha--" His eyes locked on my forehead and they narrowed.

SHIT SHIT SHIT.

"And is that...?"

His eyes widened as a series of emotions coursed through his face—surprise, disbelief, anger, concern— too many to track at that speed.

His lips pressed into a straight line as he exhaled, trying to release the pent-up rage inside him. His voice was softer when he spoke again.

"How bad?"

"Very bad."

The words came out as a ragged whisper. It took every ounce of control not to break down in front of him right then.

"Coach is looking for you, Shahaan."

Our moment of unspoken understanding shattered as another voice filled the air around us. I suddenly grew hyper-aware of his hand resting on mine. He must've felt the same because our hands pulled away from each other as soon as the source of the voice came into sight.

Shahaan clicked his tongue in disappointment and looked at Hamza, who was standing at the door waiting for him. "Tell him I'll be there in five minutes."

Hamza nodded and turned to leave but stopped and said, "Take your time, I'll manage him." With that, he disappeared into the hallway.

Damn, Shahaan is one lucky guy with way too good friends.

Shahaan turned his attention back to me. He was about to say something, but I spoke first. "Don't worry about me."

"How can I not worry about you? Not when—"

I placed my hand on his, my insides already aching to feel his touch. "Focus on the game. If not for you, do it for me. I wish to see a gold medal hanging from your neck when you return." I gave him a soft smile and instantly regretted it when he returned it with one of his own.

His smile and the pure adoration flooding those deep eyes made my heart clench, and if I hadn't realized it earlier, I did now.

I was in love with this man.

Epitome of love.

He got up, his fingers brushing mine one last time before letting go. He flashed me one of those infamous get-me-on-my-knees smiles as he patted my head and said, "Take care of yourself." His smile faltered for a moment, as if the next words took all his strength, like he was scared to say it. 

"I love you."

My heart leapt. Leapt high into the sky to a point where I didn’t know how to bring it back. But I just smiled and nodded. "I love you too."

'As a friend' remained unsaid.

Author's note: almost missed the deadline lol (physics practicals to be blamed).
And also TMI: I cried while writing this chapter🤏🏻