THE CHARMER • ♘ Mahabharat fanfiction ♘

[𝟏𝟔] ~ ☆ 𝐈 𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐒 𝐘𝐎𝐔 ☆

● Dushala's pov ●

I miss him every day, but today it feels like everything is just here to remind me that I am without him. I can live each day without him, I can even become a great success at it.

I have settled into the rhythm of time: sunrise, sunsets, seasons. Yet I miss his caress, I miss the timbre of his voice and the solid sense of his soul, I miss the strength of his embrace and those sweet whispers into my ears, I miss the very essence of my soul that he has embroidered in his.

The day I got to know that my marriage got fixed with Sindhuraj Jayadrath, my soul left me.

From that moment my heart no longer beats the same.
My eyes no longer shines the same.
My mind no longer thinks the same.

While I was physically here my mind was only entangled in him, bounded together in the stars. And from that day I missed him more deeply, more unfathomably and more terribly.

sometimes memories would sneak out of my eyes and roll down my cheeks and I try not to miss him, but in the end I still do with every cell of my body craving him senselessly.

After receiving his letter I promised him I would stay strong but staying away from him is slowly breaking me apart with each passing day. But I still found myself adorning him way too much on a regular basis and today is just one of those days where I again miss him boundlessly, with this undeniable wanting to talk to him, to hear his voice, to again reclaim him wholly.

I made it through another day, another month without him. And with every experience that's been coming my way I cannot help but think about how he was supposed to be here with me, for all of it.

Everyday felt like a countdown to the next time I'll see him again, getting lost in his enchanting eyes that sing all kinds of love poetry, just for me.

I wish for him to appear out of nowhere and just love me a little while longer, I don't need much, just a soft squeeze on my hand, a sweet feathery kiss on my forehead while losing all of me in his safe arms.

I wish he could hear all the words that I'm too afraid to say. I just wished to be loved by him in this instance just to make sure he hasn't forgotten me, his Dusha.

"DUSHALA DUSHALA DUSHALA" my chain of thoughts was interrupted by someone shouting my name repeatedly and I turned away from the moonlit window where the moon, my sole companion in this misery offered its gentle pale light. And saw Krisha and her dasi Gopadevi, both breathless and panting creating a picture of shared agitation.

I rushed toward them, my face a canvas of worry and confusion but without saying a word they swiftly pulled me towards the balcony, now tinged with the icy breath of the night.

"We have something very important for you" suddenly Gopadevi's voice rumbled in a heavy and muscular voice and every fibre of my being filled with shock and disbelief "didn't you recognise me Dushala"

He winked at me and my memories slowly began to churn "Deelaksha, is it truly you?" I asked with uncertainty in my voice and he gave me a confirming nod.

"But why are you here and that too in such a disguise?" I asked softly, marveling at his delicate and pretty transformation "don't worry, we'll explain it all" Krisha said, her hands gently yet firmly turning my gaze back to the pressing concern. "For now, just let your focus remain on him."

But who is this 'him' she speaks of? I wondered, but before I could voice my question something covered my eyes or rather someone's hand, and at that touch my entire being ignited with the memory of just one name, just one person, him.