coffee and cigarettes [winnysatang]

sign language

"so what bring you all the way here man ? fucking weekend"

fernan asked saint who is sitting on the couch fidgety. saint smile awkwardly and that make fernan really want to smack him in the face.

"just fucking say it saint, you disgust me in so many way"

saint slides closer to fernan.

"so uhm you know i just move out right ?"

fernan hummed as answer while pouring a cup of tea and hand it to saint.

"thank you, so uhm there is one uhm.... oihhh ! how doni say it ? wait let me arrange my words"

fernan rolled his eyes and nodded.

"go on saint, we have a whole day to explain it to me"

saint slides more closer to fernan just to have fernan push him away with disgust face on.

"stay there and talk"

"okay so uhm...... you know i just move out right ?"

fernan nodded while take a sip of his tea.

"so there is this one person in my neighborhood, uhm how do i say it..... uhmm—"

"you like them ?"

"what ?! no i am not ! it's just there is something about him that makes me feel something right here, in my stomach"

"butterflies ?"

saint stop then look at fernan in his eyes for a while then he groans and roughly rubs his hair until it come messy.

"the fuck is wrong with you ?"

"i don't even know what's wrong with me ! please i need your help fer, i feel like of i didn't figure out what this feelings are i will regret it later"

fernan smack saint's head.

"i don't know man, let's wait for my husband to come back. since he is a novelist maybe he can help your so unknown feelings"

fernan said in sarcasm but saint is just being saint clueless and dumb don't even think that was sarcastic. fernan groan at how dumb his cousin are but he definitely understands because saint growing up swallowing all his emotions inside.

so if saint can't figure out his own feelings is totally understandable. having such monster to be the one who guard up when growing up is such a mess.

an adult that can't figure out his own feelings is not okay and totally need help.

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all three of them sitting on the couch together talking out saint's problem together even though the married couple already know what the main issue there.

"so what do you want to do about him now ?"

saint sigh and rest his head at the couch while his hand pinching his nose bridge.

"i don't know george, i don't even know what this feelings are about. that's why i need you guys help"

fernan translate everything that saint to george then do some hand gestures to fernan and point to saint at the last.

"george said you can learn sign if you wanted to, at least you got some easy way to communicate with that boy you talked about"

saint pause for a moment, for a second he felt his world stopped and he can feel his bran working, he can hear his own heart beating and he can clearly feel how his lungs functioning. his head feel lighter then he cracked a wide smile with shining eyes.

"i...... i want to learn sign, yes ! i want to learn sign can you teach me fer ? please ? goerge help me i want to learn sign so can you convince your husband to make some time to teach me ?"

saint said while grabbing both fernan and george hands together. fernan can see how saint's eyes shining a bright hope in his eyes with the smile he had oh lord this man here is in love yet so dumb to realize.

"hahaha calm down my friend i will help you. just tell me when you're free and capable to make class for me then it settled"

saint smile even more wide make george and fernan smile together with him.

"you should smile like this more often, you look really good with them"

george using sign then fernan translate it to saint make saint blush and look away. he clear his throat then grab his things.

"i- i need to go, see you guys ! and thanks again love you too !"

george smile and shook his head looking at saint's behavior, even though he just known saint for a few years after he get married to fernan but for some reason they got closer in no time.

at first, saint find it struggle to communicate with him but he slowly find his own way to communicate with george. and saint will always be saint, he refuse to learn sign language because he trust that he can communicate with george just fine even if he doesn't know sign.

"guess people really change right ? he refuse to learn sign languages even you and him are close friends but with this boy he is the one who want to learn it"

fernan using sign talking to george and his husband nodded.

"hope he find his way to his own happiness, seeing him following his dad fingertips all this time makes me sad. saint is a fun and outgoing guy"

fernan smile and nodded.

"i hope everything goes smooth for him and that boy, at least he have his own life choice decide on his own once right ?"

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saint in his bathrobe and shorts sitting at his balcony smoking while staring at the night sky.

"looks like it's gonna be rain tonight, guess i will just let my body freeze tonight"

saint mumbled to himself.

saint has this one habit to sleep with low temperature every night even though it's heavy rain outside. even if he set the temperature higher than how he usually have it on, he can't felt the heat.

he found it that to be in a place with higher temperatures make him a bit anxious and nervous. everytime he gets closer or feel a bit of heat, he have some bad flashbacks when he was younger.

he used to get punished by something with heat when he was younger if he ever made any mistakes. that's why he only attached to smoke as heat to warm his body temperature.

one thing about saint, he hates coffee to his guts.