Once Upon a Story [ SLOW UPDATES ]

If only I could say

Word count: 548
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"Krystal, wait."

He grabs my arms, but I rip it out of his grip. He tries again. I don't fight, but my eyes never meet his.

"You're not running away this time. We need to talk, and you need to tell me what's wrong."

"There's nothing wrong." My voice barely crawls above a whisper.

"Tell me the truth."

"That is the truth." I pull my arm away from his again and fiddle with my sleeves. "I'm just a little tired."

"You're more than tired, Krystal. Something's up, and I need you to tell me what it is."

I shake my head. "I just need some sleep."

"Damn it, Krystal. You can't keep running away from your problems."

"I'm not running away." My throat tightens with anxiety.

"Then tell me what's wrong."

"I already told you. There's nothing you need to worry about."

"So you can worry yourself sick over it, but I'm not allowed to help?"

"Just let it go. Please." My voice quivers, and my eyes fill with tears, threatening to fall at any moment. Every fibre of my being wants to run and hide. I wish I could disappear at this moment and never return. Every second is another painful breath.

His arms wrap around me. "Do you not trust me?"

I don't trust myself to say a word without breaking down entirely. My silence must've triggered something. I can feel his arms tighten around me.

"I'm hurting every second you lose your smile. Why won't you let me in?"

I'm sorry. I wish I could tell him everything, but the words are stuck in my chest. My throat is sealed shut, and no sound comes out but my pathetic gasps for air. I desperately want to tell him everything on my mind and get rid of all this heaviness in my heart. But I can't. Every time I try, my eyes pour their despair, and my fragile self falls back, frustrated and afraid.

I can't even return his embrace in my episode of self-hatred for my feeble mind. I want to let go and hold him. I want to cry in his arms and tell him how sorry I am for making him worry about me.

But, I can't.

I never could, with anyone.

Even when my tears stop and he puts the whole discussion behind him, I can't put it past the front of my mind. This time of weakness is another burden added to my spirit.

"Do you want to go home?" I don't, but I nod, regardless. He brings me home and kisses my forehead goodnight. "Get some rest, okay? I'll call you in the morning."

He smiles and I attempt to give one back. It comes out a little awkward, but genuine. He sees my appreciation and the joy behind his eyes returns. "I love you."

I open my mouth, but nothing comes out again. So I run down the steps to my unit and hug him. It's my unspoken goodbye and we separate to go home. His caress's momentary happiness fades and my regret rushes in to fill the void.

I drop on my bed, where the tears of my cowardice are finally free and close my eyes, falling asleep on a pillow of melancholy and a blanket of distress.