Transcripts of Defectives

Chapter 3: Cosmo

It took us a while to get home - well, no. Strictly speaking it took the same amount of time it usually did, but without Ryder, it... it seemed to pass differently.

I shook my head thoroughly, shucking my coat off with a sigh as the warmth of our home started to seep into my skin. I plucked the beanie off my head as I threw my coat up onto one of the hooks adjacent to the door.

Florence unzipped her boots without saying a word, putting her coat away before running up the stairs without so much as a backwards glance.

I watched her as she vanished to the left into our room with a sigh. (Yes, we still share a room – hey, our house is quite small, and our dad doesn't want to move out! He doesn't want to leave behind the memories of mum.)

"Dad!" I called, awaiting his gruff response.

It came from the living room.

He was sat there, on the cosy red sofa, in the dark, the light from the television illuminating his weary face. I could see he was wearing his blue, green and red flannel, sleeves rolled up to his elbows to expose the silver hair covering his forearms. It reminded me of Heather (not the hair bit – I mean, Heather does have fairly hairy arms (don't you dare tell her I told you that she might kill me) but mainly the flannel bit)

"Come on, Dad." I sighed, turning the lampshade on in the corner with a soft click.

He turned to me, creases forming at the edges of his eyes as he reached a large hand out towards me.

I sat on the sofa next to him, making an exaggerated exclamation as he wrapped his burly arm around my shoulders and pulled me into a tight hug, pressing me to his slightly portly belly as his silver moustache tickled my forehead with a teasingly sloppy kiss.

"How was school today, Button?" He asked, turning down the volume on the TV to hear me.

Sorry for the exposition, only it is exposition I hold close to my heart, so take it or leave it – but Button was the nickname Mum used to call me. Y'know, because I was 'cute as a button' when I was born. Dad didn't use it as much until she was taken away.

I didn't tell him about Heather. It wasn't because I didn't want him to know, it's just- I didn't really feel ready to address it quite yet. I told him instead that Ryder and I had a falling out, and he kissed his teeth in pity, with a shake of his head.

"What about?" He asked.

"Ah, things just got a bit heated in our DnD game, that's all."

He sighed deeply. "Come on, Cosmo, I know that's not it."

"It's- well..."

I did want to tell him at least some of the truth. But I hadn't told him about the trip to the haunted mansion – I didn't want him to be disappointed or angry with me. So, I simply said: "Yeah, there was more to it, but... it's a bit difficult..."

He deflated a little bit, which did make me feel quite regretful. I don't tell him much about my worries or problems, though I've tried my best to. Ryder often told me that I'm not obliged to share anything that happened to me with my dad if I didn't want to, but it's not that I don't want to, it's just- it's that it's- well, it's difficult! It makes me feel exposed and vulnerable and I don't like the feeling, so I avoid it as best I can.

"Alright then." He patted my shoulder, rubbing it strongly.

We sat there for a few moments, watching the images of vibrant fish and highly saturated seas play out on the screen in front of users, the low yet soothing mumble of commentary in the background.