Promise (Tsukiyama)

Don't worry, I'm here

2:37 am

Go to sleep, Kei.

But he can't, no matter how hard he tries. It's been almost two days since he had that dreaded conversation with Yamaguchi, and he can't get it out of his head. He tries so, so hard, but nothing works. Tsukishima can't seem to find anything that will distract him enough to stop the repetition of that conversation in his head. All the words swarm his brain, squeezing his head so tightly that he thinks he might explode. Tadashi thought I was proposing. Man, I'm an asshole. He never wanted to hurt Yamaguchi. He doesn't know why he did. These thoughts are now the first things he thinks about when he wakes up and the ones that keep him up at night before he slowly drifts to sleep.

Tsukishima wakes up bleary-eyed, the sun pouring through his window and into his bedroom. He sleepily reaches for his glasses and climbs out of bed before slowly making his way to the bathroom. After a scalding hot shower, he stares at himself in the mirror. Today is going to be okay. Just don't think about him.

He goes on with his day, doing his usual Sunday errands and listening to his favorite podcasts. No big deal. He can get through one day without thinking of Yamaguchi. Shit. I just did it again. It wouldn't be this hard if he didn't love Yamaguchi as much as he does. The love that Tsukishima feels for Yamaguchi is indescribable; even he doesn't exactly know how to properly describe how he feels about him. All he knows is that he made a giant mistake in taking Yamaguchi for granted and then breaking his heart. Yamaguchi Tadashi is the most kind, considerate, friendly, affectionate person that he has ever met. He was his soulmate, and he let him get away. Stupid, stupid me.

When night rolls around, Tsukishima finds himself alone in his dark kitchen. He stares at the ceiling, feeling empty and lost. The room is quiet. Too quiet. Then, the voices start again. Only this time, they're louder. They ricochet off the sides of Tsukishima's brain, attempting to suffocate him. He doesn't know what to do, so he does the only thing he can think of at the moment. He drinks. Swinging open the door to his cabinet, Tsukishima grabs a wine glass and a bottle of red. He pops the cork off and fills the cup, then downs it quickly and goes to refill it again. This time, he drinks it more slowly, letting the taste of the alchohol swirl around his mouth. Three full glasses, and 15 minutes later, Tsukishima finds himself slumped on the floor against his refrigerator. He feels so sick. Tsukishima almost never drinks this much at a time, so his body isn't physically prepared for this. Drunk, tired, and miserable, he makes one of the stupidest decisions possible. He picks up his phone and starts punching in a number.

Yamaguchi Pov:

Shortly after falling asleep, Yamaguchi Tadashi is woken up by the urgent ringing of his cell phone. He rolls over in bed to check who it is and is surprised to see an unknown number. Normally, spam calls never go this late into the night. He shrugs and picks it up anyway, "Hello?" he says groggily.

The voice on the other end shocks him, "..Tadashi?"

Yamaguchi sits straight up in bed at the sound of the man's voice, "Kei?"

"Tadashi.. I feel like shit."

"Kei? What's wrong? Are you ok?"

"I miss you.."

Yamaguchi runs a hand through his hair, obviously very confused. "What? I- Oh. You've drunken too much, haven't you?"

Tsukishima's voice suddenly turns stern from the other end, "I'm fine."

"You literally just said you feel sick!"

"Ughhh.. whatever."

Yamaguchi shakes his head in disbelief of what's happening right now. He doesn't say anything else for a moment, trying to process the information at hand. After a few seconds of silence, Tsukishima says, "I'm sorry, Tadashi.. I was a shitty boyfriend.."