Cerberus

12. Honesty

TW: the following chapter contains mention of SA.

~

Kassidy stood like a statue while Lydia cried into his shirt. A well of emotions and adrenaline coursed through his veins and his breath was still coming ragged. He'd closed the door behind himself so Lydia wouldn't see Isaac and the other two security guards carrying Isaac and Scott downstairs where he had instructed them to escort the men to their home in the neighborhood. He knew where it was thanks to his extensive research into all of the people that closely surrounded Lydia's life. He'd walked into an absolute disaster and only made it worse by letting his anger get the better of him. But what she'd whispered... the weight of those words settled deep into his chest and he finally began to really process them.
He gently reached behind his back and lightly clasped Lydia's hands before unwinding them from her grasp. He crouched down so he was face level with her but didn't let go of her trembling hands.
She turned her head away from him but he could still see her tear soaked face, eyes affixed firmly to the ground.
"Lydia..." he couldn't find the words to ask for confirmation of what he feared. He tried anyways. "What do you mean by you said no." Asking the question made him feel like there was a rock settled in his stomach.
Her only answer was a soft whimper. He let go of her with his right hand and lightly pulled her chin his direction. Begrudgingly, she met his eyes. She looked defeated, like she was lost.
"I won't do or say anything to anyone without your permission, I promise." He said, voice soft and low. "I'm sorry you had to see what just happened out there. I acted out of anger, it was wrong."
Lydia's lip quivered at him mentioning the fight. "I need to know what really happened on that yacht." He said.
"I can't..." she was cut off by another soft sob.
Kassidy grazed his left thumb over her hand that he still held. "Scott is gone. I will never let him or his brother even look at you again." He assured her. He could feel her resistance to the topic so he added, "How about this," he went on, "a truth for a truth. Ask me anything you want."
A spark of interest flashed in her eyes for a moment and he could see her trying to gather herself thinking about it.
"Ok" she whispered. She took a moment to think before asking, "what's with the tattoos?"
Kassidy smirked at the question, trying to maintain the appearance of being at ease. "I started getting them when I was still in the service. Regulation says nothing that can't be covered by uniform, so I ran with it." That was the simplest explanation. "My turn. How did you get so many people into the house?"
"Scott and Josh invited them." She replied, voice flat.
"And how did they end up here?"
"It's not your turn." Lydia said, a hint of her usual attitude behind the words. "Who is Andrew?"
Kassidy froze for a moment, unwanted memories threatening to surface. But he'd made a deal.
"My brother." Was all he said. "Now answer my question."
He could tell Lydia wasn't satisfied by what he'd said, but she answered his question regardless. "I called Josh." A short answer in return for his. "What happened to your brother?"
He sighed, realizing if he wanted her to open up, he'd have to do the same. He looked away from her and out towards the glowing city lights on the horizon before speaking quietly, "Andrew was younger than me, but only by a year. I joined the marines as soon as I graduated high school, he did the same as soon as he could. I did a few tours, the last one sent me to a high combat zone. Andrew got orders to the same place. I made it home in one piece, he didn't. We hit a road ambush one day and were surrounded by enemy fire. He got hit and was honorably discharged. We both went home, but he wasn't the same... I found him at home a few weeks later unresponsive. He'd overdosed on pain meds." Lydia was silent. He looked back at her and was struck by the pure sorrow he saw in her eyes.
"Kassidy," she whispered, "I am so sorry. I shouldn't have asked."
"No, it's ok. I want you to know. Talking about him helps keep me grounded." Kassidy said. He realized then that she was now holding his left hand with both of her own, and he had subconsciously placed his right hand over top.
Lydia took a deep breath then said, "I really don't remember a lot of what happened on the yacht, mostly just what I was told..." she paused before continuing, "and shown." She whispered the last part. She went on, "I remember being very drunk and trying to make it down to my cabin so I could sleep it off. It was late. At some point, I woke up and... and Scott was there... he was in my bed and he was," she broke off, her body going ridged as she fought off the sobs that threatened to wrack her body again. Kassidy lifted his hand away from where it met hers and rested it on the back of her neck, pulling her forwards into an embrace. She buried her face between his shoulder and neck and let the tears flow for a moment. Kassidy quietly rubbed his thumb comfortingly along the side of her neck.
"You don't have to say it if you don't want to."
Lydia lifted her head but remained only inches away from his own face. She took a deep breath then said, "Scott didn't stop when I said no. I remember that clearly. Once he was done, Josh walked into the room and accused me of cheating on him with his brother. We all went back up to the deck, there was a bunch of other people so I made as much distance between myself and them as I could. I drank more, and you know the rest." She paused, "but there is one more thing I was hoping you wouldn't know, and wouldn't have to." She stared down at his hand, her grip tightening. "Scott recorded it on his phone. He said if I tried to accuse him of... what he did... he would leak it."

~

Lydia didn't want to look up at Kassidy. She had never told anyone what happened on that yacht. She didn't think Josh knew about the video until today. And now she knew Scott hadn't just shown him, but others that ran in their circle had seen it as well.
She was pulled away from her thoughts when she realized Kassidy's thumb had stopped stroking softly along her neck. She drew her gaze up to meet his and was met by a cold, blue intensity.
"There's a fucking video?" His words were a low growl.
"Yes." She whispered. Her walls had caved as soon as he'd told her about his brother. She'd never felt herself feel so at ease opening up to someone. Once she started, she couldn't stop. "I couldn't tell anyone, I've already caused my father enough stress. If he knew this, it would break him. I don't think I could ever look him in the eyes again."
Kassidy immediately released her hand and neck and grabbed her firmly by her upper arms.
"Listen to me." He said, "in no world is any of that your fault."
"I was drunk." She said, feeling defeated.
"I don't give a rats ass if you were drunk, Lydia what he did was..." he cut off, the muscles in his jaw clenching. "I'll take care of it."
"Kassidy, don't, please just leave it alone. It's done and I've moved on." She lied. She felt the anxiety from before curling itself around her stomach.
"I'll kill him." There was something in the way his eyes flashed as he said it that told her he meant it.
Her throat tightened as tears welled behind her eyes again as she realized for the first time since meeting Kassidy that she was always going to be safe with him. Something broke in her then, something that had been refusing to let her trust anyone long before what happened on the yacht. As the tears began to slide down her face, her body reacted before she could think and she wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him into herself and burying her face fully into his neck again.
Kassidy wrapped his arms around her. She felt, then, just how much bigger he was than her. Stronger in every way, yet he held her like she was something fragile that threatened to break under too much pressure.
They stayed like that for a time, Lydia clinging to him and crying into his neck, Kassidy on his knees before her, arms wrapped around her in a tight hold.
Kassidy finally broke the silence by saying, "I have to go check on Isaac." He backed away just far enough to look into her eyes, but didn't let go yet.
"Can I stay in here tonight?" Lydia asked, meeting his eyes.
"That's fine, I'll take the couch downstairs."
"No." It came out faster than she'd meant. "Will you stay with me? I don't want to be alone..." it was true. She was still afraid from what had happened. Her nerves were a wreck, but Kassidys presence had shifted from an annoying constant in her life to the one thing that offered her any sense of peace.
She could see the conflict in his expression at her request but he replied quietly, "yes, I'll come back." Then slowly, he pulled away from her grip and stood. He looked down from where he now towered over her and said, "I meant it when I said I will protect you. I will always protect you." Then he was across the room and out the door, quietly closing it behind himself.