Cerberus

16. Puzzle Pieces

    Lydia elected to take extra time before coming down for dinner. She had told them 30 minutes, she waited 45. By the time she made her way downstairs, she had put on a forest green tennis dress that hugged her in all the right places, but was still casual enough for her to pair with a set of leather sandals. It was a very beachy outfit, she admired. She decided then that she wanted to go to the beach as soon as she could get out of this house. Malibu maybe, if she didn't feel like flying far, but Turks and Caicos genuinely sounded phenomenal right now. She wondered if Kassidy liked the beach, he'd mentioned that he'd been in San Diego before taking the job with her father.
    When she reached the bar on the second story they tended to have their dinners at, Isaac and Kassidy were already seated, albeit somewhat impatiently. They had each changed out of their clothes from earlier. Isaac in an outfit she was sure he also wore to the gym, shorts and a loose fitting sportswear t-shirt. Kassidy was in a black cotton long sleeve with the sleeves pushed up his forearms and a pair of dark washed jeans. His blond hair wasn't in its usual slicked back style, instead it looked like it was still only half dried from a shower, bits hanging loosely across his forehead. They both looked her direction as she approached and took her seat next to Kassidy.
    "I love a good family dinner." She said sarcastically. Kassidy rolled his eyes, Isaac smiled nervously.
    Now that they were all seated, the kitchen staff began bringing out dishes. She'd asked for seafood, so they were given lobster and scallops. There a few other side options for them to choose from but her attention was deadpanned on the two men sitting to the left of her. She watched as their plates were loaded with food. Isaac was the first to start eating, oblivious to Lydia seething, most likely because he had Kassidy acting a wall between them. Kassidy didnt touch his fork. Instead he looked up from his plate and met her eyes.
    "Lydia," He started, "we need to talk after th-" She cut him off.
    "I need to know the truth, and you might think I sound crazy when I say what I'm about to say and honestly I hope I am being crazy."
    Kassidy raised an eyebrow at her and Isaac stopped eating mid bite to look at her.
    "I need to know where you both went last night after... what happened." She said trying to sound authoritative. She felt her chest flutter as she forced the words out. "You both disappeared for hours, and Kassidy I swear to God you smelled like gasoline when you got back," Isaac looked at Kassidy, it was his turn to raise a questioning eyebrow. Kassidy just shook his head at him as if to say "later".
    "And then this morning, I wake up and the Freeman brothers are just... dead?"
    Isaac's eyes widened almost imperceptibly but Lydia noticed the reaction, the fluttering in her chest intensifying.
    "What are you trying to say?" Kassidy said in that low voice he used when he was trying to maintain composure. She was beginning to be able to read him and the way he reacted or spoke about things. This was the voice he used when he was doing damage control.
    Lydia took a deep breath in and forced herself to ask the question she'd been dreading, "Did you kill them?" She forced herself to look directly into his eyes.
    There was a beat of silence between the three of them. The air was still, the staff had cleared the area and she knew none of them could hear what was being said from downstairs.
    "They were drunk, they wrecked their car." Isaac said, not Kassidy. Kassidy was dead still, brows furrowed as he looked at her.
    "That's what the news is saying." She replied as calmly as she could, "But where were you both?"
    Isaac answered again, glancing between her and Kassidy as if he had been expecting him to answer her questions, "We took them home then had to do a few things to make sure the house was put back together and everyone was actually gone. Plus, there was a lot of media control that had to be taken care of."
    "For 6 hours?" Lydia was trying the best she could to remain calm. Her natural reaction to most things was a little extreme, she'd admit, but she was trying to take notes from Kassidy and use her presence to demand answers. Her father rarely rose his voice and people, literally, ran to do his bidding. She was trying a new angle. "Please, don't lie to me."
    Isaac opened his mouth to say something but was cut off by Kassidy, "Isaac, give us a minute please." Isaac closed his mouth with a bewildered looked then stood to leave. He took one step towards the stairs then stopped, whipped around to grab his plate and utensils, then swiftly made his way downstairs.
    The air in the room seemed to be sucked away once it was just the two of them and Lydia took a steadying breath in order to maintain her self-possession. Kassidy looked down at his plate and she saw his shoulders tense as he folded his hands on the counter in front of him, resting his weight on his forearms. He was silent for a moment, and then another. She was afraid he may not say anything and she'd have to build the nerve to ask again when he said without looking at her, "My job is simple, Lydia. Keep you safe. Yesterday, I failed miserably at that. I cannot protect you from the pain in your past, but I can... I will prevent any further pain you may have to suffer to the best of my ability." He turned to face her and to her surprise, she realized she'd turned in her seat to fully face him and was now leaning in as if hooked by his every word.
    "I am not a perfect man, I have never claimed to be. Not everything about my job is... easy." He was trying to pick his words carefully she noticed, "That means in order to protect you, there are things its best you don't know."
    Chills went down her spine. His voice had softened almost to a whisper, his voice low and gravely. A small spike of hurt pricked in her throat as his words settled. What did that mean? Things he couldn't tell her?
    "Kassidy, please, I need to know. I feel insane just thinking about it. You said last night that you would kill Scott. Of course I didn't think you meant it but then he actually died? I mean, you see how that looks right? And I swear to you I smelt gas on your clothes from last night. You were gone for hours. There is enough staff on call for this house to be spotless without your help, middle of the night or not. Please, I feel like I'm trying to do a puzzle but none of the pieces are fitting together." She could hear how her words had turned into pleading. It was as if she knew the answer but didn't want to believe it unless he said. Why couldn't he just say where he'd been and then they could all move on? She needed to hear him say he hadn't done it.
    Kassidy was looking at her intently, gaze shifting from one eye to the other as if he was searching for something. Lydia reached forwards and placed both her hands on his right forearm, squeezing as she said, "Kassidy, please."
    Something cracked in his expression then. Kassidy, who she'd thought was made of stone. Emotionless and uncaring. Kassidy, who she'd learned after yesterday actually cared so much more than she had thought. He let out a deep breath then, in a voice that was now a genuine whisper, he said, "You aren't crazy, Lydia."
    She thought she would have screamed, or cried, or thrown things when she learned that the man tasked with her protection was a murderer. But she didn't. She felt calm. Reassured even. There wasn't a shred of betrayal or anger in her body. Instead, she just sat back and nodded her head. She didn't feel an ounce of anger because deep down, she had known the truth and needed to hear it from him. Instead, that strange feeling of safeness she'd recognized this morning burned an ounce brighter. She didn't know what that said about her, that she could sit next to a man who had killed men this morning and didn't seem fazed about it in the slightest. Without thinking, she stood and took a step closer to Kassidy. He shot upright in his chair, body at attention to her movements. She took another step towards him so there was no more separation between them and wrapped her arms around his neck, the same way she had last night, albeit the memory was still fuzzy from the alcohol. She recognized now the way his body relaxed as he returned her embrace, arms wrapping wholly around her waist. This time, it was him who pressed his face to her neck as they held each other.
    "I wont ask you anything else about it." She said softly into his hair, "I just want you to be honest with me. I know your intentions are in the right place but I can't handle being lied to Kassidy."
    He let out a deep sigh, the air warm on her collar bone. "I'm sorry." Was all he said.
    "For what?" She asked, pulling away slightly so she could see his eyes, he met her stare.
    "What I've done is wrong, Lydia, I killed them. I need you to understand fully that it was me. I needed Isaac's help with setting it up, but I did it."
    She paused before replying, "I understand that. And I understand why."
    He looked at her again with that searching stare. "Why are you so ok with that?"
    "Because... The way people like me and my father, and Scott and Josh live, it's complicated. The rules for people like us are different. It's wrong, but it's true. There was no justice for Scott after," she choked on the word, "what he did. But this, this is the justice he deserved. His brother too for knowing and doing nothing to stop it. I know I'm not the only one who's been justified either." She left the implication in the air.
    "And I'm sorry for this morning," he looked down at the ground as he said it, "I didnt mean to give you the wrong impression."
    Lydia let out a short laugh. "Please, I know how I look in a mans t-shirt. I think I would have been pissed if you didn't leave an impression." She smirked with the word impression, remembering a certain impression she'd seen in his sweat pants as he'd fled to the bathroom.
    Kassidy rolled his eyes and loosened his grip on her, but she didn't unlock her arms from his neck.
    "Kassidy," she said, slightly afraid of his answer to her next question. But she felt vulnerable with him in a way she hadn't experienced with anyone else. Maybe it was knowing that he would, literally, kill for her... "I was wondering... Would you be ok if I stayed with you again? Just for tonight? I know I sound crazy again, but I-" He cut her off.
    "I already said you aren't crazy. That's fine with me." He pulled his hand away from her back and rested his hands on her shoulders, "just get the snoring under control."
    Lydia laughed loudly in disbelief, but she felt that spark of true happiness that she hadn't felt in a long time. "I do not snore!"