SOUL DORM

58

And I just can't get my poor self together...

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CHAPTER 58: 

DEEP QUESTIONS

Faking sick to ditch the cafeteria was a breeze. But when I was alone in my room, escaping my thoughts? Not so much. Despite Ursa's insistence, I wanted no one around, so I huddled under my blankets, shivering alone.

Was it spending an entire night in damp clothes that made me sick, or was it the sting of Mars' harsh words? I wasn't sure. I'd never actually seen anyone catch a cold in this realm before. Yet, there were endless stories of heartbreak spiraling into the Void. I feared my ailment might be tied to the latter. Mars had delivered his cruel remarks, flaunted his new girlfriend, and effortlessly moved on, leaving me to wither away by myself.

It really shouldn't surprise me. Nothing had changed: the same aloof Mars with yet another girl at his side. But... Ursa had mentioned they were dating. This was the first time Mars had shown interest in a girlfriend, the first time someone wasn't just a passing fancy in his life. Was that why I was so shaken? While he shunned even a simple friendship with me, he had chosen to share his life with someone else—right after devastating me.

No! I told myself I didn't care. Not about Mars, not about that girl! I should be relieved, feeling like I dodged a bullet. Mars had brought nothing but chaos into my life. Now that he focused entirely on his new girlfriend, he couldn't torment me any longer. He'd spend his mornings swimming with her, composing songs for her, and gifting her pearls. They had already shared a day at the carnival. Next, she would be the one sitting next to him on the cable car rides—not me, not the girl Mars had once had to rescue, albeit reluctantly. Everything was unfolding exactly as it should be.

Yet, why was I still crying? Why couldn't I get a grip on my emotions? My relentless thoughts only worsened my condition. It felt like even the Dorm pitied me. Every time I woke up and dragged myself to the bathroom, a new glass of milk awaited me on my nightstand. I drank it without a second thought, desperate for any sort of relief—divine or otherwise—to quiet the turmoil in my mind.

Perhaps the milk was indeed casting its soothing spell. By morning, my shivering had stopped, and I'd found the strength to stand. Still, wisdom suggested staying in my room. Yet, the idea of being alone with my thoughts was more daunting than any physical ailment. I couldn't continue to spiral down this path. If I wanted to move forward, I needed to act immediately. There were no days to waste. It was time to reengage with life, attend my classes, ace my exams, and finally escape this place—precisely as Mars had once pointed out...

Thus began a new day, mirroring the previous one's routine. I dragged my weary body into the hot shower, picked the first clothes I touched, quickly braided my hair, packed my bag, and shuffled out of the room. With considerable effort, I made it down to the cafeteria, where my friends had already spread out an array of breakfast options.

Today's class was art, and fortunately, Ursa and Diego were with me. Otherwise, they would have dragged me to the infirmary. Instead, they each took an arm, and we made our way together up to the art rooms. I was convinced I wouldn't see Mars there—I had told him he didn't need to show up to class anymore. But...

There he was. My frown deepened automatically upon spotting him. He hadn't noticed us yet, likely because he was engrossed in the back corner, with his girlfriend Lea sitting comfortably in his lap, both of them chatting and laughing with others scattered around the room. They seemed utterly content, wrapped up in their world. I didn't realize I was staring until Ursa nudged me.