The Darker Side of Me

What He Thought

It was a lie. He doesn't really have a scouting mission. He just can't be in that room while she sleeps. She looks so normal, and he can almost believe that she had accepted his offer in that transport and never become a serial killer. Then she'd be by his side by choice.

He checks his handheld monitor. The screen displays her sleeping, peacefully for once, her red hair tangled all about her shoulders. She hasn't covered herself with the blanket he gave her, and her form is shivering violently. For a fleeting moment, he has the urge to reenter the room and drape it over her frame.

How ridiculous. She would attack him again, and he would be forced, once again, to activate that circuit that throws her to the floor screaming; his hand, once again, would wish to lift her torture. He should have no empathy for his living weapon.

Still, he has trouble believing the facts he knows, because asleep, she seems gentle. Safe.

For some reason, he can't stop looking.

He curses himself and shoves the monitor in his pocket. This is exactly why he had to leave the room. He must retain iron control over the madwoman. He cannot engage with Project 208. He shouldn't even still remember her name. But he does.

He shakes himself. He doesn't love her, of course. He's never longed for her body, or for endearments from her lips. He has no time for such weakening emotions. But she fascinated him. Still does. He has no idea how she survived the penitentiary beatings, or how she fooled them all into thinking she was mad, and how she managed it all with her personality intact.

He'd been telling the truth when he said he didn't want to see her fire snuffed out. From the very beginning, he could tell that she was something different. Such a spirited, determined, and intelligent individual would have been a valuable addition to wartime leadership; his colleagues are all fools, mindlessly following whatever orders they are given.

Teague is different. He takes initiative. He can adapt. And that is what makes him infinitely valuable, how he has risen so quickly through the ranks. That girl, that Jenna, would have done great things in the military. For once, he would have had a coworker who could actually stay pace with him.

But it does no good to dwell on these things. He has a job to do, men to keep in line, and plans to draw up for the attack. He needs to train tirelessly, so those he commands do the same. He must be an example, a perfect soldier. He cannot let the mask slip. He cannot let them see any weakness, especially not the secret one he harbors for this girl. He must be collected, confident, and powerful. He does everything, but he tells himself he doesn't mind.

No one has to tell him. He already knows. He is the most important commander.